So
by XaLo
Summary: T-cest. Raph has been oblivious to the obvious, and now he's facing an inner battle within himself as his instinct feel the need to take over while his subconscious keeps him from revealing his dark secret concerning his older brother. Leonardo/Raphael
1. Prologue

TMNT is taking over my life...  
>And this is what happens. I regret nothing.<br>Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.  
>Pairing; LeonardoRaphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)  
>Rating; M<br>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.  
>Based on the 2k12 series.<br>Enjoy your stay!

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><p>"So, ya wanna tell me the reason ta how and why ya got me alone and hidden here on tha roofs with ya? Ya got my attention long ago pal, and I'm all ears now so spill it."<p>

Casey was frowning; his lips tightly pressed together and both arms crossed over his torso as he glared down towards the green form sitting on the edge of the building. With his battled and scarred shell facing his human friend, Raphael let out a tiresome sigh and rearranged the sentences in his head once again as he still wondered if this was a good idea to begin with. Never had he thought that this would come out-never had he dared to even utter these things he was about to reveal-. It was a horrible thing he'd been keeping locked up in his heart and mind; hoping for it to never creep up and turn the people he loved against him on its way.

Nonetheless here he was; alone with his human friend on one of the many roofs that stood high and mighty in the big city, not ready in the least to spill his gut to the other, but still he found himself preparing for the worst outcome possible. And who could really blame him? Raphael was known of many great things- great at expressing his emotions, great at acting on his instinct rather than orders, great at combat fighting- but being great at talking about himself was none of them great things he was known for. At all.

Sure there had been some occasions where he'd been almost forced to speak of his inner feelings and thoughts. One of them being when Spike-or rather Slash now- had become mutated, and Raphael had to go up against him. It was a horrible experience-feeling such as hate, loathe and anger dwelled inside of the red-clad turtle- since Raphael knew that if he didn't fought back, Slash would go after his brothers again and this time finish the job. At the same time he felt sadness, compassion, he was afraid-scared of the fact that if he didn't finish him off his brothers would suffer more than they already had- but most of all he was afraid of the simple fact that he might lose his one best friend forever.

In the end the inevitable and worst outcome possible occurred and Raphael kept himself locked in inside his room for days after that incident. He refused any company or comfort from his family, and the only times he went out of his room was to get a snack to eat or go to the bathroom, which only occurred once everyone was soundly asleep in their beds.

One night though was different. On one of these night when the red-clad turtle just had gotten something to ease his hurting throat with and was about to retreat to his room, he'd found himself caught under a gentle but sad stare and later two arms that wrapped themselves around his muscular body and shell. Raphael became frozen in place, so to speak, but it didn't last long as he then begun to struggle for freedom under his blue hued older brother grasp. Said older brother however did not only tighten his hold on the hot-head, but also whispered small soothing words with such gentle tone in his voice that Raphael almost doubted that it was the same leader-Leonardo before him. His words were effective nonetheless as Raphael not only ceased the struggle, but also brought his own slightly quivering arms around the thinner torso before him and awkwardly returned the embrace. It was then he cracked. Small whimpers dared to escape from his mouth as his older brother continued to ease his shell with light strokes along with those tentative and calming words which only made Raphaels already made resolution of not crying cease to exist, and in a matter of second he found himself clutching closer to his brother; crying freely and desperate against Leonardos plastron.

Even though that happened months ago, Raphael had not been confronted nor asked about that whole scene from none of his brothers or father. Raphael had guessed that his dear oh-so-formal brother would walk straight to Splinter and tell him about Raphaels cracking self and emotional crises, but not even once had his old man made any signs that he knew of the little...'incident' that took place in his own kitchen. Leonardo himself has not said anything nor done anything regarding the whole event that took place all those months ago. Not that Raphael complained, he'd rather let his still fragile feelings sort themselves out and calm down until he even dares to speak about them again, but at the same time it wasn't like old fearless to go soft on him and give him some time alone. He appreciated it nonetheless, but this new aspect he'd gained regarding his brother, the days he'd been watching him and waiting for him to confront him, had grown and starting to get on his nerves since his older brother had been on his mind a bit too much for his liking.

It wasn't until maybe 2 month after that incident that Raphael had started to notice these small things that Leonardo did occasionally and unwittingly. Like for instance when he ate a slice of pizza he almost always let his chin touch the tip of his fingers once he was done eating, or when he made a cup of tea he always let the cup rest on his pinky finger instead of letting it stand on the table. These were all small things that Raphael had never paid attention to before, and he found it slightly disturbing for being able to see them now. These small gestures were not even that big of a deal, but heck did them all have the power to make him stare in amazement like he'd just found out the cure for cancer or what?

These...small motions and habits which the older turtle subconsciously gave away was only the beginning though. Three or four months after when he'd started to notice them he'd also found himself inhaling his brothers scent once he was close numbers of times, or even worse he'd found himself giving in to Leonardos orders just because said brother had been staring him down with those deep blue hues of his. He'd even felt guilty one time when he had given his older brother a good right fist shoot to the face after they had started to argue about something which he now could not remember. He had not apologized for the hit, but he'd felt, as said before, guilt dwell up inside of him the second his right fist met with his brothers smooth green skin.

After that Raphael begun to confront his own thoughts and emotions as there clearly was something wrong with him for reacting completely different than what he usually did when being around his blue-clad brother. But nothing of what he could think of did neither make sense or didn't match with his abnormal behavior in the slightest.

The days become longer for Raphael the more he thought of it, and even as he himself thought it was pretty obvious that he was acting weird- or weirder than normal as Mikey would put it- none of his brothers asked him what was wrong, or maybe they didn't even know? Maybe they just didn't pay attention to him, or maybe they just thought it was something concerning a small matter and wasn't important in the slightest... Either way he was happy they hadn't asked as he was sure he wouldn't know how or what to answer them.

It wasn't until a month ago that he finally got a grip of what it was that had started to grow inside of him under these many months. They had been on their usual mission on finding the mutagen down town, and after 2 hours of searching they finally found the canister in a deep alleyway in the more 'filthy' part of the big town. While making their small triumph and Michelangelo dancing in happiness, they didn't notice the unwelcome guests up on the rooftops until it was too late for them to retreat. Footbots were everywhere and nowhere as they kept attacking the 4 terrapin creatures; adapting to their every move and skill and hit back with 10th times the strength as the last blow that they had given. It wasn't until their dear and oh-so-not-beloved- Karai joined in on the fun and decided to stubbornly fight the oldest of the turtles alone in a one-on-one combat fight while the rest of them got to dance with the remaining footbots. It wasn't that Raphael was afraid that Leonardo would get hurt, he was well aware that his older brother could take care of himself against someone equally as strong as himself, but deep down in his subconscious screamed a voice high enough to be heard that it was a bad idea to let him fight Karai alone on this specific night.  
>Although before he could act on his instinct and join his leader side it was already too late as he found himself now staring at his older brother and their arch nemesis daughter exchanging breathes and saliva with their lips tightly pressed together.<p>

What first hit him was the unendurable disgust that turned his gut upside-down, but when he noticed that Leonardo didn't do anything to fight back the sneaky bitch but instead let her continue with harassing his mouth, something else in Raphael cracked and he could literally feel the cringing pain that welled out from inside his chest area and crept around in his arteries.

It was like someone suddenly poured icing water on him as he in that moment finally figured out to what these abnormal feelings had been this whole time. He'd been oblivious to the obvious and simply ignored that these feelings might actually be...

That was one month ago, and he still hadn't confronted his older brother and asked to why he'd been making out with their enemy, with _her._ Not that he'd ever dared to ask now, but he'd expected Leonardo to at least apologize for being all lovely-dovely with the enemy, but no. He didn't even glance over at his brothers in an apologetic stare or anything! Nothing proved that he was truly sorry for what he'd done in that alley, which shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone since they all knew Leonardo held special feelings for Karai, but making out in the middle of a fight? Was he that desperate to get together with her? Apparently that was the case...But Raphael still couldn't comprehend these affections he held towards brother which he'd recently realized, and although he'd been telling himself many times that it's practically impossible and the chance is second to none, he still couldn't shake them off and he found himself unconsciously staring at his brother more than once every day.

This all bring us back to why he's on the roof together with his human friend Casey, and he's finally ready to spill his gut to the one person he's expecting to keep quiet.  
>In these past months he have been going crazy just being in the same room as his brother, and recently he have even been having these fantasies of his leader which always leaves him hot and bothered with a cold shower. In short, he's tired of keeping this inside, and he's willing to risk his friendship with Casey just so he can get someone to know about these...feelings.<p>

"Gettin' old here dude..."

Finally Raphael cleared his throat and started off with a light voice tainted with a hint of embarrassment. He prayed to the lord that Casey didn't catch it.

"I- I just need ta get this off of my chest, and yer the only one I can really talk ta 'bout this so...Hear me out, 'kay?"

While he still had his shell facing Casey, he didn't need to turn around to know that his human friend held a confused expression on his face. It made the turtle slightly nervous of what he was about to tell him since he know that he's risking his friendship if he do tell him, but Raphael is desperate and if he doesn't do anything now he feel he might just explode out of exhaustion.

"Sure pal, anything you say. I'll listen." Casey assured him, and believe it or not but those few words made the hot-head feel like he might actually manage this and keep his friend at the same time.

_Here goes nothing...!_

"I've got feelings for someone...Like, the pesky kind of feeling where ya can't stop wanting ta touch them or watch them." He started, still not turning around to face the other behind him. Not that it would have mattered now anyway since Casey took the pleasure of seating himself next to Raphael.

" 'kay, well nothin' I expected to hear from _you_, since well yer a turtle. Ain't that many chicks that swing that way, man. No offence."

"Some taken..." he replied dryly but couldn't surpass a small smile as he heard his friend's small snicker and apology. "Sad ta say it ain't a girl I'm fallin' for then."

That however made the human snap his head towards his reptile friend and stare in a somewhat puzzled expression, or rather a more conserved one perhaps? Either way Raphael have never felt so open and vulnerable, judgmental and scared in his whole life. He was fully open to his friend who could now judge him or simply go along with it. He felt so small compare to his friend who at the moment took the opportunity to sigh loudly and place a hesitated hand on Raphaels shoulder as of showing comfort.

"Raph, yer a cool dude an' all, but you of anyone should know that I'm targetin' a certain-"

Quickly Raphael cut him off with a single motion with his hand, slowly frowning but later laughing as he found himself staring at a really bashful Casey Jones. Clearly Casey had gotten this all completely wrong in the most humorous way possible.

Finally between laughs and gasps he succeeded in forming words."D-don't flatter yerself, vigilante. 's not _you_ I'm havin' trouble not ta touch."

Snorting, the human frowned at the insult but felt relived nonetheless that it was not him that Raphael had the hots for. But this only meant that there was someone else that Raphael had feelings for, which also weren't a girl but a guy.

"Then if it ain't yer handsome neighborhood vigilante, then who-"

"If I say it ain't a girl or a human, does it make things easier for ya?"

This seemed to snap something in Casey as his face suddenly lit up with first a shocked expression, then later a more understanding and smug one. Raphael wasn't so sure if he liked the look Casey was giving him as it felt to Raphael like Casey knew something which he didn't. Nonetheless Raphael was pretty sure his human friend finally caught up and understood what it was he was trying to admit.

"I knew ya and that fish stick had somethin' goin' on!"

But once again he was proven wrong...

Raphael could only stare in amazement and disgust at his friend's stupidity. Had he just heard right? How could Casey even think that him and Fishface-

"HOW do ya put two and two togetha and make it so that I've got tha hots for the fish?!" He voiced his inner question, mentally face palming himself over how incredibly stupid this human was. It was almost equally to Mikey.

Casey only shrugged and glanced down on the empty streets below.

"Ya gotta admit that that fish and ya have a bond that's not only with ya bein' the hero and him bein' the bad guy." He simply stated, and Raphael could do nothing but shake his head in defeat.

"Look, Fishface is nothin' more than a bad guy who I just happen ta enjoy beatin' up more than the regular ones. There's nothin', repeating nothin', else there is ta that. I've got no feelings for him in the slightest!" he spat out, grimacing as he thought of the idea of him and fishface ever being more than enemies.

"Geez Raph, could've just said so. No need ta get that worked up 'bout it." came the calm and slightly humoring reply from the man. "So, it's no bad guy ya got-"

"No." Raphael cut him of, frowning and now not even bothering to turn to watch his friend's expression as he was too fixed with his eyes on one of the street light below.

There was a pause for a moment, and although Raphael couldn't-or rather wouldn't- see the others face he felt in the air around them that Casey clearly wanted to ask something but hesitated to do so. That is until he finally dared to speak.

"Is it one of yer brothers?" he asked timidly, which Raphael was grateful for 'cause hearing him say that only made him feel like he'd committed a crime of some sort.

There was another moment of silence and the terrapin felt more awkward that words failed to describe how horrible he felt. Once again he found himself at the mercy for his best friends' judgment and he could only wait for Casey to start questioning him.

"...Yeah." he finally said, nodding slowly towards no one but the street below them.

" 's it Mikey?" he then suddenly asked, sounding completely serious one can get and Raphael hastily turned around with a clear frown and disgust on his face.

"Heck no! Why would ya even think him and I- ya know what, never mind. I don't wanna know."

" 's it Don then? Ya and him got lots of things in common." He continued, not even bothering to get mad about Raphaels behavior.

The red-clad turtle only sighed and once again turned around so that he faced the street. "No... 's not him either."

"Then-"

"Yeah, it's Leo..." 


	2. Chapter 1

Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.  
>Pairing; LeonardoRaphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)  
>Rating; M<br>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.  
>Based on the 2k12 series.<br>Enjoy your stay!

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><p>Illuminated light from the already late ended movie was still having just enough strength of brightness as it lit up the center part around the TV in the big and gracious underground-living room.<br>There he was seated; on the not so very dainty couch, but it was comfortable and neat enough for the family who were used to adapt to their surroundings and use whatever was left and whatever they could salvage.  
>Raphael, the hot-head, the precipitated vigilante-predictable and rash- irrational and full of pride, he was still up- slowly feeling himself drifting away off to the other land of dreams as he regarded and neglected todays occurred events.<p>

It was not a thing he did regularly nor usually when so tired as now, but given the change and the developed feelings he'd gotten since 3 month back when he told Casey about his change of attitude towards Leo, Raphael had figured that it would be for everyone's best if he reviewed the day and went over the things that maybe were things that didn't seem as harmful to the eye for some, but was for him something clear that could endanger his brotherhood, friendship and bonds with his whole family if they were to be found out of. Never did he want them to gain this knowledge of his attraction towards his older brother, and never would he ever tell them. All of which he drew the conclusion that the only solution for him was to regain his composure and go over his small errors over the day for the safe keeping of his secret and for the better good of his family bond. He could ask of help from no one; this was his own tangled mess that he had to fix up by himself.

It had been a difficult task at the first few months since he wasn't exactly a 100% sure of how to actually keep his cool around his brother as it was practically never a day where he could evade Leonardos touches or glares. It had been difficult all before, and that had been when he'd been oblivious to these feelings towards Leo or simply just held a brotherly bond with the oldest. This was like going back to square one again and it had been painful and agitating altogether as he this time didn't have his sensei to ask for guidance as he had before. Well, not in the same way anymore anyway.

Inhaling deeply, Raphael let his head gently fall back and lean against the strive, yet still comfortable, settee. His arms where each next to both of his sides; legs resting in a relaxing cross over the table before him. Letting the calming and familiar scent that lingered around in his home sooth him, he once again breathed in just enough for calming purpose as he close his eyes and begun to go over his day.

Today had not been that unusual to any other, nor had it been that original either. It had been having its ups and downs, although nothing of those ups and downs had been concerning Raphaels matter and developed feelings towards Leonardo. It had been one of those regular days where they all had been eager to practice in the dojo, for Splinter had taught them all some new and unique kata that would prove to be useful and adapting to each of their own unique fighting style. Leonardo had been eager to show them and their sensei his gracious and beautiful kata which he'd been practicing non-stop ever since their sensei had showed it to them earlier a few days ago. Raphael had been watching him.  
>Nonetheless they all got the chance to redeem themselves from the glory of which Leonardo had completely grabbed a hold of as his kata had been as flawless as it could get. They had a small sparring session, to which Raphael became slightly unhappy about since he didn't get paired up with the older brother as he more than gladly wanted to become. Nonetheless he had enjoyed his time with Donnie as he found his slightly younger brother actually putting up a real deal of a fight with this newly found skill and kata.<p>

After many heavy sweats and pants, happy claps of cheers and friendly pat on the shell, the training session finally came to an end and they all had bowed in respect towards their sensei and made their way towards the bathroom where they'd gotten in together; each turtle in each shower cabinet.  
>As usual Raphael had been careful as to even glance at the peddle on the floor as he was afraid he'd see the body he'd been dreaming of for too long to claim, and if it wasn't for his stubborn older brothers habit of being the last and only walk in to the shower ones everyone else was in, Raphael might not have become so bothered and uncomfortable as he had uncontrollably taken a quick look at the forest green skinned turtle before him. Almost in a heartbeat he'd practically flew towards the shower and closed the wooden door behind him; panting most from the earlier workout but also from the growing need of feeling that delicate skin touching against his own.<br>To Raphaels unexpected, although fully relived surprise, neither Leonardo nor his other brothers had taken his slightly unusual and strange behavior to thoughts as they did not ask about it later on at the day.

Right after lunch the group of four decided to head out to the surface in a search for the still few missing remaining mutagen canisters. It had been a pleasant trip for the hot-head as he indeed was in need of a fight; one of which he was sure he would gain if they ran around for a while up on the slightly smaller buildings. They had picked up Casey along their way, and although their human friend didn't have any objections to a good old pounding to the gangs and foot, Raphael still wasn't sure if his friend felt different for them all now that he knew that Raphael was crushing on Leonardo. As much as the hot-head wanted to object and fight the thought, the fact that his feelings towards Leonardo would change his remaining two brothers was a horrible image and it didn't come much of a surprise to him that Casey needed some time to take it all in. Honestly, it's not on a regular basic that you get told that your mutant friend is in love with his own sibling. Nonetheless Raphael hoped from the bottom of his heart that Casey could see it in himself and accept all this which was going on. Raph missed his friend, -the talks, busting gangs and fighting together- and he was afraid that his 'vulnerable' side got the better of him and maybe even ruined it as he figured that it might not have been the smoothest mode he'd made those 3 months ago where he might've been better off hitting Casey in the face instead of spilling his guts as it would've pretty much left the same expression. Shock, tension and all pent up in some way that Raphael had no idea of how to explain. It made him feel like an ass either way, and there was nothing much he could do about it other than wait for Casey to cool it, whatever Raphael liked it or not.

In the end they'd retired for the day and headed back to the lair; leaving Casey together with April as they had found her on their way, and then they'd slipped in through the sewer tunnels and kept a steady peace all the way home. No fighting between siblings had been occurring while on their rooftops runs. Some bickering and raised voices, but no fighting. As much as it was unusual for the hot-head not to raise his voice and make sure his opinion was heard loudest of them all, it was also now becoming one of his fears to do just so mainly concerning his secret which he was so keen on keeping just that; a secret. Knowing himself, he knew that he sometimes loses it and acts purely on instincts and those rash and raw feelings which he used to be so proud of, so just for keeping this one thing- this one secret left out- he'd decided to not fight more than necessary with neither of his brothers.

All in all, that was pretty much the entire day. When they'd gotten home they'd all gone to their own personal zone; leaving both Mikey and Raph alone in the living room while Leo went to read and Donnie left for his current project. With nothing else or better in mind, Raph and Mikey kept their afternoon next to the TV with a remote controller in each hand as they continued to play different kinds of bets throughout the gameplay. Around 19:30 they'd decided to finish up and while still being in a playful mood, Mikey stubbornly kept declaring himself as victorious of the game and all the different kinds of bet they had made. Although the bets had been nothing more than small innocent ones such as clean the kitchen or being made do deny pizza for a full week, Raphael still held his pride close to heart and soul as him and Mikey had begun fighting; rolling around and Michelangelo screaming while running in terror from his furious hot-headed brother.

Hearing himself give away a slight chuckle, Raphael slowly came back to reality as he found himself still leaning against the couch. Checking the clock on the table, it showed 23:43, which meant that he'd been seated on the same spot for a whole hour all alone. For once he actually liked the calming atmosphere, and he could in occasions like now understand to how and why Leonardo enjoyed the silence and the soothing meditation which he kept nagging him to try out more than what their sensei taught them.

"_Fuck_- I'm calming down, just to get him to return in my head again. Great." He spat silently and grunted inwardly as he tried regaining his composed and calming zone. He tried concentrating once again; trying to find the inner peace he'd had minutes ago, but to no avail as he felt himself being hot and bothered ones again by the mare thoughts of Leonardo preforming the simplest kata one could imagine.

Once Leonardo came to his mind, Raphael could keep denying and swear, but never would the older brother leave him and his thoughts alone. Always must he be there. Always there and constantly watching his every move and form- twitch and beating of the heart- every wink, every muscle that vehemently tense up whenever he was in sight. It was just as that ravishing turtle wanted him to stumble and fall to his knees and concede to the other and admit himself to be dispirited.  
>But Raphael couldn't do that. He couldn't let his feelings get the better off of him, and he couldn't yet implore and pray for forgiveness for his defiant and still delicate feelings which he held for the older one. It wouldn't be like him, not anything like the Raphael Hamato that either they or him know of.<p>

"Can't you sleep?" came a tentative and contemplative tone, tainted with a hint of worry as the all too familiar creature suddenly leaned down the back of the couch next to the slightly shaken turtle seated there. "Are you feeling alright?" He vaguely inquired and leaned slightly closer to his brother- hand brushing his shoulder faintly- and Raphael felt himself being all far too close to his brother for his liking and good.

Clearing his throat ones, Raphael shifted slightly as to get as much distant as he could without arouse suspicion and he reluctantly let his own stare meet his brothers deep sea blue hues.

"I'm fine. Just 'bout to turn in. How 'bout yourself?" He had meant it to sound contemplative and also he'd meant to have spoken with caution, not that hostile and vehement as he'd somehow made it turn out to sound like.

He saw Leonardo jerk slightly from the uncalled tone, but he kept his composure cool, one thing which he was extremely good at. "You know me –can't sleep if one of my bros are still up—Beside, I just finished my meditation session, so I'm just going to get a glass of water and then I'll head off to bed."

Raph snorted a laugh. "Does that come with the leader title too? Meditating at this hour? Ya gotta be kiddin' me."

Leonardo frowned slightly at the insult, but the small chuckle didn't go unheard for the older brother and he too couldn't surpass a small snicker. "Indeed it does, and no. I'm not kidding, Raph. Every leader must be well trained in physical, mental and spiritual form, therefore-"

"Cut the leader crap, Leo. I'm beat tired and I would prefer if you didn't bore me to death here on the couch as I'd rather sleep in my own bed." Raphael dispassionately and sincerely cut him off, refraining to start an all-out war fight as he did indeed feel very tired as spoken.

"Geez, someone's being cranky." He retorted while rolling his eyes. Sighing he went to the kitchen to get some water –having Raphael following suit soon after—.

To say that Leonardo hasn't noticed anything strange in Raphaels behavior was something completely distraught and outrageous to say. Leonardo knows there's something different with his ordinary angry sibling, and although he'd much rather talk to him about it than to let Raphael decide whatever and whenever he want to talk, it is at the same time not Leonardos decision to when and if they should talk. It's not about trust, rather more about caring, and although Leonardo knows about Raphaels and his temper, he still doesn't have a clue to the feelings of which his own brother holds for him.

Nonetheless Leonardo decided to give it a go since the judging he'd done just now show that Raphael is somewhat calm and not in the rampage zone. He thought he should try out his luck.

"Raph, I've been meaning to ask you something for a while now. Would you care to listen?"

Shifting slightly from the side as to put the newly used glass down on the counter, Raphael kept his gaze down when he answered apprehensively. "Can't it wait?"

"It can...But—"

Almost forcing his way through his brother's side, Raphael kept his eyes to the ground as he began walking out of the kitchen. "Then it can wait 'til morning. I'm going to bed."

Leonardo however, being the know-it-all, stubborn and bigger brother figure, he swiftly and gently made it pass the table and the chairs without knocking them over and placed himself in the opening doorway to the kitchen; Effectively holding his brother in as an exhausted Raphael is a slightly gentler one and is less of a chance to actually put up with a fight.

Stirring cautiously and with care, Leonardo held a steady glare on his much darker skinned brother. "I just want to talk."

"Yea, an' I just wanna go ta bed. Move aside." Raphael chided, grunting while he forced his way passed his brother and ran further up to his room, closing and locking the door as to make sure Leonardo couldn't further bother him.

Sighing and grumbling, Raphael whined and stomped on the floor as the temptation and craving to go back to his brothers side almost became unbearable. It had always been like this nowadays. Always it was Raphael whom had to storm up to his room before his rational instinct took over and he did his brother on the floor while his oh-so naïve older brother was as clueless as ever. To say that it was outrageous was putting it lightly.

"Fuck you Leo, and fuck your talking. Fuck you, fuck." Leaning on with his shell to the handmade wooden door, Raphael scowled and kept cursing his brother's name. Always had he been defiant and an ass to the leader just because Raphael had been envious of the leader title, why did things have to change? Why couldn't those less complex and enjoyable days come back to him? He'd earned them by now, but life just loved to humor itself and make his daily basic a living torture hell.

Now feeling cooled off enough he swiftly undressed of his gear and protection patch before dropping down to his awaiting comforting bed. He tucked himself in, wrapping the soft blanket around his broad shoulders and muscular torso as he already felt the warmth and familiar solace from the comforting fabric ease his mind and tense form. Oh, how much had he thought of his brother in here with him? Imagining this simple fabric to be Leonardos warm arms and legs against his own, and how much had he dreamt of having Leonardo sooth him like the way he did all those month ago in the kitchen? It was far too many times to keep track on.

Shifting slightly and getting into the one certain comfortable position, Raphael let his eyes close and his mind fix itself on the all too familiar scent that lingered still faintly on his skin.  
>Nuzzling up to the wall and clutching the frail cover, the second oldest son went to sleep with oh so many tears still unshed and oh many words still unspoken.<p>

While still in the kitchen, the oldest of the four brothers still lingered with his empty glass now in hand. Being paranoid wasn't Leonardos thing in the slightest, but the thought of his brother being mad at him had crossed his mind numerous of times, although it had been quickly driven aside just as fast as it came since Raphael's behavior had held nothing alike those emotions similar to angry ones.  
>And all while Raphaels affection towards Leonardo had been there since almost a year back, said older brother haven't noticed things being different with the hot-head since just recently. Well, it's to be expected since Raphael has been extra cautious with his temper around Leo. It isn't any wonder to why said older brother still is as clueless as ever.<p>

"Why do you always have to give me a hard time..." he breathed out, letting his thoughts gather up and he concealed those blue hues of his as he whispered the last part shallowly. "Karai..."


	3. Chapter 2

Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.  
>Pairing; LeonardoRaphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)  
>Rating; M<br>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.  
>Based on the 2k12 series.<br>Enjoy your stay!

* * *

><p>"There will be no further training today. Rest up well for tomorrow I will not go as easy on you as I have been today." Our father exclaimed sternly, but none of us could fail to notice the tiny smirk that formed on his lips as he uttered the last part.<p>

Leonardo rose up within second as our sensei gave us permission to leave, Don went second and lastly Mikey passed the sliding wooden doors; groaning and whining at the bruises he'd gotten from our training. After making sure that Mikey had closed the door, I breathed out and was now the only one still remaining seated on the strive tatami floor whose father now stood before me and seemed to be bigger, taller and more scarier than I thought of him to be. Boy, was I trembling under that gentle stare he gave me.

I faced my father, gulping slightly and braced myself for whatever questions that he was sure to be throwing at me after I'd finish talking. My father however only seemed to enjoy my presence as his small smirk still lingered on the fury face of his. As if he'd already known what I'd stayed here for...

I stirred my uncomfortable legs awkwardly to the left; seating myself more to my liking and comfort and I saw my father seat himself before me as his eyes continued to scan my slightly strained form.

"I take it you have a troubled mind, my son?" my father figure spoke, starting off the conversation which I had been meaning to begin myself but couldn't because of doubts that still lingered in my head.

Nonetheless I nodded lightly and shifting my gaze down to the old and worn tatami floor as I let him continue.

"Very well, and what exactly is it that you have restrained yourself from for this long and not seek out my guidance until now?"

I had to simply laugh at that. Count on the old man to keep a watching eye for his sons. However the reason to why I stopped laughing was not because of the continued question, but of the specific tone he used. "Did you think I would not understand whatever troubles your mind, Raphael?"

It wasn't the usual, calm or tender voice which he used when we talked together, so I guess that's why I didn't dare to move. His voice scared me, and although he was completely calm in form and mind, his eyes pierced me with such intensity that I thought I was to be ripped in two under them. Do all fathers have this effect on their kids?

"No, sensei. I don't think you would understand this." I spoke, dare to say that I merely made them come out without a stammer following suit. "I'm sorry."

My sensei shifted his gaze and closed his eyes, his position stirred and he frowned slightly at my apology. "Do not be sorry for something which you cannot explain or comprehend. And although it would make this conversation much less complex, I will not proceed to ask about the matter."

Once again I felt the all too familiar guilt dwell up inside of me. Now would indeed be the best time to tell him. There is no better chance that I'll be getting, and I'll be doing myself a favor if I do tell him.

But I can't now, can I? It would ruin everything, and there's no telling if Splinter would keep it to himself. After all it's not on a daily basis that you hear your own son has fallen for your favorite student...

Breathing out, I asked "Even if I can't tell you, will you still hear me out?"

Splinter held his eyes on me; surely trying to read whatever displayed in my mirrored soul but I was determined to make him not see whatever was left in them— whatever fragile and weak feelings still remained—. He could not see. I will not allow it.

In the end he only nodded and answered softly. "Of course, please."

"I have this...Problem, sensei." I started off, trying to form sentences and words in my head that would seem easier to comprehend, but everything just turned out into a big pile of rubbish and I grunted loudly.

"Take your time, Raphael. I will not be going anywhere until this is sorted out." My dad tried to sooth me, but honestly it only made me feel less calm, only more guilty and anxious. Angry...

Clutching my fist together, I tried to restrain from growling as it wouldn't help me anywhere at the moment. Taking a shaky breath I continued. "...I-I haven't been myself lately. It's a strange feeling 'cause I can't concentrate on the things at hand and it keeps getting it the way from important situations such as the many fights we've been having lately.

"I can't sleep well either, and I'm getting either anxious or restless throughout every day that goes by. My moves is getting sloppy, my head hurts constantly and I have not—".

I paused for a second, wondering if what I was about to say would wake up any suspicions at all. Surely my father wouldn't think too much of it, right?

"I-I haven't been fighting Leo since what feels like forever...This, this _thing! _It's driving me mad!" I exclaimed; slamming my fists into the floor and breathed hard.

My eyes were currently fixed on the floor, so I couldn't see Splinters expression. But from experience and from what I could tell from his shallow and calm breathing, I figured he didn't take too much notice in mention of Leo's name.

"My son, anger is self-destructive. Have I not told you that?" he suddenly barked, although I became quite puzzled since I had just told him I hadn't had a fight with Leo for weeks. Did he not hear me right?

"Anger such as yours, Raphael, could cause you to land in many difficult situations. Such as this one for instance."

"Sensei, I just said I wasn't—" I began, but he cut me off with a motion by his hand and I fell silence under his stare.

"Raphael, what I'm talking about right now is not the anger you unwittingly unleashes towards others, it's the one you have chosen to desperately keep inside."

I stared at my father, mouth open wide and I gasped slightly at how much information my old man already had gathered. Nonetheless I kept silence as I let my already fragile mind nod my head as a sign to let my father continue; Needless to say that I was at loss for words.

"You have flaws, my son. Flaws which I find that make you into a unique being, and not just for your appearance.

"You may be different in many ways, Raphael. You have flaws, alike your brothers and me, and although one cannot outrun them, you, my son, whichever you choose to or not, embraces it.

"You have the tendency to let yourself get drawn away and controlled by your emotions. Which I have told you can both be a good thing or a death set back towards your team and family.

"However, I do not understand to why you so suddenly learned to keep them inside..."

"Isn't that what you wanted me to, sensei? To control them?" I inquired, feeling slightly frustrated since he made it sound so complicated and that I was doing something which I shouldn't be.

"You cannot control them by keeping them locked up inside yourself." He stated simply and I saw him bracing himself as he must've seen my bewildered anger rise up again.

"Then what's the fucking point of trying?! You're saying that for all this time that I've been trying to keep my cool, trying to be rational, trying to get it all fixed up, that it was a completely waste of my fucking time?!"

"Language, Raphael." He stated calmly, only endangered the thin line which still kept my outrageous anger and sorrow in check.

I stood up, lashing out towards the sliding door before I completely lost it and maybe did, or said, something which could ruin everything. He could not know...Not yet.

"Raphael!"

I stopped. Or rather froze would be the correct word for it as I stood complete still next to the still closed doorway with my shell facing him. I didn't dare to turn around; I didn't want to turn around. I didn't want him to see me, his son, crumbling and slipping. I wanted to run away, 'cause I knew if I didn't do it now I would be regretting it later. Big time.  
>But once again life loved to humor itself as I found myself reluctantly being dragged with my own two feet closer towards my awaiting father. Without a doubt, this was one of those fatherly effects that he'd planted in us all since we were small...<br>Once I was before him I only fixed my eyes on the paintings on the wall, the thought of sitting down never once crossed my mind and I heard him standing up as well.

"Raphael, this...burden you are carrying...You must—"

I shifted somewhat hostilely, keeping my voice low but fully hinted with danger as I cut him off abruptly. "I MUST not do anything."

I heard my father figure sigh deeply. Any time soon he'll let me be, he'll let me go and let me vent this all out like he always had in the past. This time ain't any different.  
>I could already feel it. The dispirited form and the quickening breath, additional to the constantly moving tail of his were all signs pointing towards that he'd lost this one inner fight with me. Nothing new and nothing I ain't gonna hold a grudge against-<p>

"Sensei?"

My breath hitched in my throat as I gasped for air and I vehemently turned around only to be met by the eyes of the one person that are the cause of my already defective and crumbling self. Leonardo stood leaning against the doorway with his shoulder slightly pulled up; a form which showed whenever he was tense or anxious, which he had all the right to be at the moment.

For the second time that day I froze up and for once I actually wished for that infamous anger of mine to actually burst itself out of me so that this situation couldn't continue for the worse.

"What is it, Leonardo?"

Leo held his stare on me, settling them with mine as I could do nothing than to glare back at the source of my problems. That is until he actually looked towards or sensei instead and broke the witchery spell which had been thrown upon me.

"I heard Raph shouting...Is everything okay?" he asked almost too timidly as he set his eyes on my once again. This time however I decided not to get caught in the mindless trance and I made my way excessively across the room and passed my now bewildered older brother; making sure as not to touch him more than necessary as my resolves were anything but strong and firm at the moment.

I made it to the living room with my still welling and concrete mass of emotions inside of my thumping head and I stumbled while running towards the entrance which would let me get my freedom.

"Raph!"

Or that's what I thought.

Stubbornly as the older brother he is, Leo had chased after me and probably expected me to burst as he placed a firm hand on my shoulder while also bracing himself for an impact as he stood in his defense stance. I tried to shake him off, I tried to run, but that damn bastard wouldn't let me go.  
>So I screamed.<br>If it was from anger or if I was terrified I didn't know. I just screamed.  
>I cracked, I gave in, and I could feel my mind slowly drifting off to the living beast that feasted on my angst and anger.<br>I slammed his head into mine and screamed as I saw red before my eyes and my brother was the running target. I heard Leo shout my name, but to no use as my already darkened mind only wanted to see what I hated and loved the most beat up and implore on his feet before me.  
>Stalling a left kick which I defiantly had thrown at him, Leo still wouldn't attack seeing as he still kept his defense position heavy and steady. I roared once again as I felt the nasty look land on me and I lashed myself on him as to get my frustration finally set free again after so long.<br>Damn did it felt good.

But that significance moment which I had been craving for far too long came abruptly to an end as I suddenly felt two tender arms around my upper body driving me away from Leo who's body I had been sitting on.

"What the heck are you two doing?!"  
>"Bro, cool off!"<p>

I heard their voices, their bickering, their anger, but I could not hear the source of MY anger. Leo had become silent throughout the fight, for whatever fucking reason I didn't know, but damn did I feel good now. After all this time this was definitely something I needed to let my nerves cool off. Something this essential was sufficiently and did I miss those intense and vehemently waves of rash and raw power that welled up inside of me?

"Raph, you maniac! Look at what you did to Leo!" I finally discerned the voices beside me. That was definitely Don talking.

"Dude, this is bad even for you." I heard Mikey say, but I was too caught up in my own world of pleasure that I didn't notice the slight terror that tainted my baby brother's voice.

Then what brought me back from my wonderland was the wailing pain that escaped with my voice as I felt a strong hit directed near my stomach. I grunted and tipped forward while clutching my sides and gut and I looked up to find my attacker staring me down with indignation glowing intensely from his blue hues.

Then suddenly he lunged for me, and downwards we both fell with Leo steady on top of my plastron and me astonished and effectively pinned down to the cold cement ground.  
>I could feel him brushing against me; his legs pinning me down and only ghosting across my inner tights and I shivered as a tingling sensation flowed in my spine. His arms held me steady and firm against the floor and he defiantly lowered his head closer to mine and I could do nothing but simply melt in his warm and shaky exhaling breathes.<br>_'Shit..!'_  
>I felt my presence began to get clearer and my mind wasn't as darkened anymore, but instead of anger flooding my troubled head there were instead amorous and sincere misgivings that clearly must've shown on my face since both of my younger brothers desperately tried to calm Leo down while staring at me with worry.<p>

His whole body felt warm, almost too warm for my liking, or maybe that was just me giving of the unbearable heat that had decided to store itself inside of my now blushing body.

"What's your problem Raph!?" I heard Leo growl, unwittingly for him that it made me reluctantly more aroused as I also felt his breaths gusting against my now dry lips.

I was slightly panicking from the pressure and thoughts that went around in my head, but somehow I managed to speak up without sound too much of a threat or excited. "Get off of me...!"

I heard him chuckle darkly, a laugh which he must've gotten from me since I recognized the slight terror that faintly tainted it, and before I knew it he was in my face again, this time however he was too close for his own damn good.

"Make me."

My eyes widened at his challenge, not fully comprehending or grasping what my brother just spat in my face. My heart clutched and ached; longed for the warmth which I could gain just by lifting my head a millimeter up, but still my mind were superior to my instinct and instead of giving in to my longing desire I let out a low growling whisper.

"Don't go there—"

Leo shifted his form, brushing against me once again as to steady his grasp around my wrists and legs and I surpassed a wailing moan that dared to barely escape from deep within my throat. "I dare you." He gritted defiantly, only making me fall deeper into my desire of claiming him.  
>It became hard to surpass my instinct and just do him there on the floor. Clearly this bastard was asking for it.<p>

Before I knew it the weight that had been keeping me down ceased to exist and I watched as Donnie got a hold on Leo and lead him further away from me while desperately trying to calm him down. My mind came at ease in seconds as I heard my youngest brother try to calm my nerves, but the raw and bothered heat still lingered on my body. I sat up, grunting as I did so as the hit I took in the stomach still pained and ached.  
><em>'...what just fucking happened?..'<em>

"Boy, 's been a while now since the last time you exploded. Was it always that intense between you two? "Mikey wondered and I glared at him in response; effectively shutting him up for hopefully a brief moment to catch my needed and shaky breath which I didn't know I had been holding for all this time.

"Are you okay, Raph? You seem a little—"

"I'm fine!" I barked as I cut him off midsentence and stared at nothing in particular until my eyes finally landed on a certain spot on the floor. It was stained with red.  
>Crimson red.<p>

"—Pale..." Mikey finished off his sentences, but I didn't hear as I was too caught up in my own world at the moment. I let my fingers roam across my body for any cuts or anything which wasn't bruises, but to my surprise I found none.  
>Suddenly the thought hit me like an ice cold river being washed down over my being, and I turned my head as subtle and calm as I could manage towards my two other brothers standing about 5 meters away. Realization hit me hard as I watched the pained expression on my older brother's constant twitching face.<p>

Donatello was by his side and surely advising to tilt his head slightly back as he currently seemed to follow those small gestures that my genius brother was giving. So much blood...  
>I watched in terror at what my anger had made me do. Seeing the red, inhaling the strong copper scent that had started to linger in our lair, I took my chance and ran for the exit. Sure Mikey kept calling my name more than I could count even after I was far off from our hide out, but I could not turn back now.<br>Had he not seen what I had done? How wrong I had been? How much I lost control? How much monstrosity there's still left inside of me? How much I hurt our older brother?!

I ran around in the sewers, in the miles long tunnels stretching all over New York city, and although I was this far away from my home I could still taste the copper in my mouth and smell the stinging scent in my nostrils. Still feel his touch...—

"NO!" I shouted audible and threw a good punch to the hard and strived concreted wall; feeling my rough and firm skin painfully rip and stretch as I continued to stubbornly harass the now slightly red-painted wall.

I've seen blood many times before in my life. This time shouldn't be any different. But it was.  
>This was Leo I had hurt.<br>My family.  
>My brother.<br>_My_ Leo.  
>I had hurt him; surely slamming my tightened fists right into his nose and broke it.<br>I don't remember hearing any cracks, not even feeling them...  
>But he was bleeding. He'd been hurt by hands no other than mines.<p>

_'God, what...What have I done...?"_


	4. Chapter 3

Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.  
>Pairing; LeonardoRaphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)  
>Rating; M<br>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.  
>Based on the 2k12 series.<p>

Enjoy your stay!

Raphaels POV

"You know, if my old man for some obvious reasons starts to chase you with a knife, don't tell me I didn't warn you. I'm telling you, Raph. You comin' here to my place aren't one of the brightest ideas you've had since I first met you."

I breathed hard, my exhausted breathes turning into a clouded mist before my pale and slightly shivering lips as I smoothly entered Casey's room through the window; swiftly closing it before the stinging cold could claim my already frozen body and make its way through the warmth in the small bedroom.

Ignoring my bitter friends wrangling and complains, I instead unwittingly let my knees give in and bent so that I stumbled and fell down towards the wooden floor. My legs ached painfully; muscles were tense and quivering reluctantly even though I now was seated on the floor with them pressed tightly against my plastron in a desperate attempt make them stop.  
>I began to caress and stroke my limbs as I was desperate to gain some of that warmth back to my naturally coldblooded body, but not only didn't it work, I also realized my toes and fingers were starting to turn numb as I couldn't feel the icy cold that had been there only minutes ago.<br>The funny thing here is, this shiver I feel, is it from the insufferable winter weather or from my past aroused adrenaline kick finally coming to an end and telling my subconscious that the horrible monster inside of me if finally beginning to take over?  
>That I had made my brother bleed?<br>Whichever it is, it doesn't change anything.  
>I guess, although I complain, I really do deserve all sort of terrible things that Mother Nature can throw at me.<p>

"Man, you're shaking. Are you oka—"

"D-don't touch m-me!" I barked harshly and shifted when he reached out a caring hand, but my hostile and despondent words sounded much less threatening as my voice was shallow and weak because of the biting cold.

For whatever fucking reason I'd chosen to go talk to Casey I didn't know. I know for a fact that he isn't that fond of me now that I he knows that I have feelings for Leo...  
>I remembered when I told him, he said nothing; only staring at me with what I could remember was a disgust reflected in his hues until he finally ran off and leaving me alone of the roof.<p>

I saw my human friend retreat a few steps away from me, although I didn't gave it much thoughts since my mind were currently taken place in my past events which concerned my encounter with both my father and brother. However my fragile and corrupted mind was drawn back to reality as my current frail and sensitive skin felt the sudden soft- comfort and heat become applied in a form of a broad and thick blanket.  
>Turning my head was near impossible as I my whole body was currently going numb, but I managed to stir and move slightly to see Casey sit now directly in front of me.<br>Was he smiling?

"W-what...?" I asked, voice still sounding hoarse and weak but one couldn't miss the arrogant clang to the question.

Casey shrugged excessively, but being his friend and knowing his actions through and through, I knew there was something which he kept from me.

"You tell me." He stated simply before giving of an uncalled smirk. No, not a smirk. It was a smile, although it was crooked in an abnormal way and it felt nothing alike his usual mocking grin which he so often liked to use.

I stared bewildered at him before frowning. "Tell you what? What are you talking about, bone-head?"

This time he laughed lightly before answering. He hid it well, but I could hear the light nervous hint in his voice. "Thought you ignored me or somethin', you know, 'cause of your dirty little secret."

My breath hitched on its ways up my throat as he spoke; almost making me cough and bend over as the air suddenly seemed to be a bit heavier than before.  
>Count on Casey to go for the direct approach...<p>

Between coughs and shivering wheezing breaths I managed to speak. "Come again? Me ignoring you?"

Casey moved slightly to his left and shifting his weight to his side as he leaned back against the bed behind him. Once again he thought he could trick me with that shrug and arrogant smirk of his. "You never came to properly explain. You didn't call either."

"Explain? What is there to explain?!" I tried to yell, but the cold prevented me to do so and making my expected threatening voice only come out as a hoarse kind-of whimper.

"You know damn well what it is, don't try to run away from it!"

My head throbbed in pain as he raised his voice, but no way was I going to give in.  
>Growling slightly gritting my quivering teeth I stared at him with genuine distraught and cold eyes.<p>

"Like how you did on the roofs?"

I saw his determination, whatever it was there for, crumble and his expression changed to be more anxious and heavy than what it was before. No doubt had I struck some kind of nerve which he was, or wasn't, aware of. Either way I shut him up real effectively.

Breathing in to ease my troubling mind and arising headache, I leaned back against the wall and let the quiet space and time calm both our heated and angered thoughts for a moment.

"I shouldn't have told you about it..." I said in a whispered regret and let my stare fall to the blanket which was the only thing comforting me. "I shouldn't have come here..."

"No, Raph look—" Casey begun, a new kind of determination fixed on his form and he looked deep in thoughts as he took his time to proceed. "You just...On the roofs, you took me by surprise. I mean, it's not every day you hear that your buddy got the hots for his own brother. I was in shock mode, man! Work with me here!" he exclaimed, proving to me that my already anticipated thoughts were right from the start.

I, however, don't necessarily keep a futile grudge. Especially towards the ones I care about. Although it were times like these that made me wish I wasn't such a wuss with a caring side alike my brothers.

Sighing somewhat deeply and without a hitching inhale, I shifted my seated form and decided to land my eyes on my anxious awaiting human friend. "I told you 'cause I needed to get it out. I couldn't risk it with telling my brothers or father. They would disown me in a second!"

"Oh, but it's okay to tell me and risk whatever our relationship is then?"

In honest astonishment I stared at my friends and took my time to proceed what he just had fierily spitted in my face. The way he said it, the sincere look of hurt in his face, the guilt that suddenly began to develop inside of me. Least to say I felt like a dick.

"That wasn't what I meant—" I started off determined to change the heavy atmosphere that had taken place in his room, but said owner of my location abruptly cut me off and to my utter surprise and relief, he smiled.

"It's cool, Raph, I know. Guess I should properly apologize too before we turn this whole thing into a battlefield, huh?" he commonly stated with a nonchalant smile, a smile which I've been afraid I would never see again because of my daring risk of telling him my 'dirty secret'.

I saw him stand up, the smirk still glued on his widely pale face and he made a shushing sound while lifting his finger up to his lips as a gesture to keep me quiet, then he hastily made his way to his door and went out of the room. Puzzled and curious to why he suddenly decided to leave without explaining, I stayed quiet as he'd so nicely asked me too and used my hearing which had been trained for years for times such as these.

I heard him run; his steps getting distant but the weight that he put on his feet were loud enough for me conclude he was running down some stairs. I then suddenly heard another man's voice; no doubts Casey's old man, thought I couldn't hear the exact words, only mumbles and the roughness yet slobbery tone that the older one used.

After a while of trying to comprehend the small words being said downstairs, I gave up and managed to move and sit on the bed that was surprisingly neatly made before me. 5 minutes, maybe less, and suddenly Casey came rushing in towards the newly slammed open door with two cups which he tried to balance on a plate.

"Apology accepted?" he asked warily as he handed me one of the cups and closed the door in haste.

I greedily held on to the cup as I felt it was comforting and soothing warm against my still cold skin and I breathed in a dark-sweet- bitter scent that I hungrily gave a tasted and upon then realized it was hot-chocolate that I held in my hands.

For the first time in these 24 hours I let out a genuine sigh of relief and felt a smile grace my lips as I held the cup closer to my torso and up to my beak as to let the heat pacify me.

"Apology accepted."

It wasn't such a bad idea after all.

-  
>Leonardo's POV<p>

As the resisting wind blew past and against my skin I felt the all too familiar goosebumps attack my naturally cool and sensitive body, however I could not let this hinder me from my way thought the chilly sewer tunnels as the person awaiting me is only a few blocks away in the giant maze of pipes and turns dusted with water and rubbish waste.

Turning left I braced myself for the sewage aroma I chose not to inhale through my nostrils but instead let it burn my throat each time I dared to breathe. I had made that error the first time I entered here, and I would not be so dumb as to actually make the same mistake twice.

The road before me was foggy and with my current lack of clear and breathable oxygen it only worsen my sight as I recalled that this area had crumbled down some years ago; leaving big rocks and pipes to narrow down the space.

But I am not known for being the stubborn big brother for nothing. Swiftly, yet cautiously, I made my way in the faintly lighted corridor of busted cement and rusty tubes. My feet carried me forward across the wet and slippery floor and one would wonder how I even dared to step in the muddy, freezing ground barefoot knowing I could probably accidentally step on something which could harm me.  
>I'm a ninja.<br>Those silly unfortunate mistakes don't occur nor apply to me.

I ran further down the broad and spacious drain and as I kept nearing my set destination I recalled that the person I'm dealing with have quite the arrogant and ravishing preference to make a simple conversation into the more of a...challenging one-so to speak-. I came to a halt and briskly brought my skilled hands up to my awaiting swords and drew them from their protective shells; leaving them to now hung empty and hollow on my own form of mutated shield on my back.

'Going stealth mode'

The rest of the run I made was not without great caution and paranoid glances behind my shoulder every now and then. I wasn't scared, quite the contrary, I never felt more excited than when I was out in the field with danger that could lurk behind each and every corner that I passed. The blood in my trained limbs, body and mind was living freely with adrenaline pumping through them and I consumed every bits of sound and movements as my ninja training had thought me to do.

'Close...'

Like a flash of an blurry and unlighted shadow I kept my moves shallow and quick. I couldn't risk being seen, being heard or even thought of. My pride would not allow that to occur. Although there is always a risk at stake when it's about confronting an enemy, and the risk I now take might be dumb since I know my opponent is highly skilled as myself. Stealth would only work for a short amount of time, but it would hopefully be enough as to make it surprising for them. Hopefully.

I kept my body close to the coolly bricked wall as I realized that the end point of my traveling through the sewers were only a few feet away. It was a spacious, yet an empty, rounded room with a ridiculously high gridded ceiling; meaning a small amount of dimmed light was able to creep past the bars and lit up the darkened space. In short, reduced playground for your average ninja turtle.

'Can't risk being seen...'

Suddenly my hitched senses caught movement and a wheezing sound that cut through the air just a few steps away, and in a second I was there fully determined to keep my surprise attack as effective as possible and strike first as to double my chances of victory.  
>I directed my weapons at the shoulder, and I felt my swords touch the fabric of the person in front of me and I unwittingly let a smirk grace my lips as I the figure before me twitched in what must have been pain.<p>

I slid my blade out of the wringing form, the smirk still applied on my face as I heard the 'clang' when it fell to the ground followed by a gust of dust and dirt that scattered away from the body.

'Wait, clang?'

As my thought barely got the time to pass and for me to comprehend them, I suddenly felt the presence right behind my shell and my eyes enlarged in realization that I had unexpectedly run into a trap. Taking as of a cue from my tense and stirring body, I heard the still unidentified form quickly scattered their blade and in the next second I felt its cold and metallic sharpness being lightly pressed against the back of my neck.

I hesitated at first, but knew better than to counterattack the enemy and taking the risk of being a headless turtle, so with a light growl mixed with a beaten sigh, I dropped my precious blades to the ground next to the robotic figure that had acted as bait for a trap which I had stupidly fallen for.

What I heard then was not uncalled for, but it made my still adrenaline filled body jump slightly as the person behind me started to chuckle in a playful manner.

" I win."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, yet I accepted my despondent defeat and brought both of my hands up next to my head in a form of showing that I surrendered to her.

I let the silence linger for a while before I resentfully let my voice be heard. "I didn't reckon we'd be competing. I only came to talk."

She was fast to answer. "Oh, come on. Don't be such a party pooper. We both know this is much more entertaining than talking."

With the smaller blade still strictly pressed against my skin, I could only lower my hands and sigh at the rash and impulsive temper of hers. She was so much alike some other hot-headed brother of mine that it was almost scary. Maybe that is why I was so drawn to her.

"I came here to talk this time around. If you don't want to listen then I will be leaving." I informed her, short and simple. Sadly this woman was anything but simple and I got a quick reminder of that fact as she applied pressure to her blade that now were on the very line of cutting through my flesh.

"Who say's you'll be able to leave alive?" she mocked with a hint of her own hidden playful manners that said something along the lines of; 'Don't leave, I want to play.'

For a second I only stood still as my surroundings became clearer. She was alone; well, if you don't count the one foot soldier that now were laid down and slayed before my two feet.  
>Dispassionately and with caution I motioned myself around so that I now could see her face to face while not fearing she'd be slicing my throat without me seeing her moves.<p>

She did nothing as to stop me from turning around; although our eyes met she could not contain her snickers and broke out in a fit of laughter with tears almost rolling down her sculptured-like-face.  
>At first I stared bewildered and somewhat astonished at her and could not understand what it was that she found to be so hilarious. Nonetheless since she now was practically bend over and gasping for air, she had drawn back her blade and I could freely move without fearing for my life.<p>

"What's so funny?" I finally asked as she was still laughing. I proceeded with picking up my swords until she calmed down and was able to form sentences.

As she spoke, she pointed at me; still trying to contain her snickers. "It was Raphael, right? W-who gave you the black eye!"

My breath hitched by the mention of my brother's name, although I was sure that my sudden discomfort and anxious form had passed unnoticed for the kunoichi before me. I cleared my throat; wanting to avert my stare to anything but her as her eyes always had the power to see through my lies, but my stubborn-self didn't let me and I found myself to be caught in her gaze as she awaited my answer.

Once she understood I wouldn't answer she teasingly decided to proceed with the subject now when she clearly knew I felt uncomfortable discussing it.

"What did you two fight about this time around? The leader title? Come on that's so old school!" she exclaimed, nearly going in to another fit of laughter but this time around she succeeded in keeping her composure. I however didn't give in to her playful manners and request to talk about my brother.

What Raphael and I fought about did not concern her in the slightest, and I had no intensions of telling her.  
>But that didn't stop her from trying to force it out of me.<p>

"Or did he perhaps find out that you're secretly sneaking out at night only to see me; your dearest enemy and lover?" she said with a teasing tone, making my naturally green and chilly skin turn to become a bit warmer with a slightly lighter shade of pink which painted across my face.

My mouth opened as to speak up and tell her how ridiculously silly that sounded like, but as my thoughts whirled around in my head and I desperately searched for an answer to her question, I was left standing straight with mouth agape and a blushing face.

Her snicker brought me back to reality. "Really Leo, you don't have to be shy about it. It's not that much of a secret anyway." She told me nonchalantly, and if she'd stated that 4 month ago I might have kept quiet, but since she was anything but right at the moment I just had to argue back.

Smiling now with a composed mind and with controlled emotions, I leaned against the brick wall behind me. "You wish I were. Sorry sister, but I'm done with our game. You never liked me the same way as I did; I was just too stubborn and blind to realize it."

"Blinded by my appearance?" she questioned and started to lean in closer and closer to my personal space.

I could feel her sweet and strawberry scented lip-gloss ghost over mine in an honest attempt to make me give in to whatever she had in mind, but sadly for her I was being completely honest with her.

"Really, I'm serious. We're just acquaintance." I stated calmly while gently pushing her shoulder further away from me.

She didn't seem hurt by my words, which only proved that she never really cared for me as I did.  
>"Nothing more and nothing less? I at least thought we'd be friends." The light giggle she made after the question was undoubtedly really cute, but never was I going to admit that.<p>

"Friends?" I spat and narrowed my brows. "When we were together we had nothing more than a love-hate relationship. We've tried to kill each other countless of times already and you want us to be friends? Honestly, I thought you would've known better."

She stared at me; eyes gleaming with her usual mocking smirk neatly painted on her face.  
>"Yet still, here you are. Together with no one but me and away from your beloved family." She pointed out and gestured her hands up as to strengthen her statement. "Isn't that ironic?"<p>

I couldn't help but to laugh at that. Indeed she had a point, but it was nothing my pride would allow me to mention.

"Speaking of families;" she continued and turned away; her voice now sounding somewhat shallow and sincere with an unfamiliar ounce of sorrow. "How's my dad?"


	5. Chapter 4

Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.  
>Pairing; LeonardoRaphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)  
>Rating; M<br>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.  
>Based on the 2k12 series.<br>Enjoy your stay!

* * *

><p>Leonardos POV<p>

I gave her an inspected look which she surely couldn't see since she was too busy studying the ground beneath her feet. Nonetheless I kept staring until I figured she awaited my response.

Coolly and apathetically I answered her; "And you suddenly care about your relationship because...?"

She twitched and stirred by my question; turning around hesitantly to face my slightly frowning and steady form. The look she gave me, was it pain that I saw being reflected in her yellow orbs?

"Hamato Yoshi is my father! My real father, who fought bravely when Oroku—"she stopped herself abruptly, a deep sorrow and hate washing over her face as she thought of the past." When the Shredder killed my mother and abducted me." She finished now more quietly.

Skeptically I eyed her and kept my light frown still attached on my face. I knew where she was going with this, and even though I shared her sorrow and pain, I still couldn't bring myself to pity her. What she had done towards me, my brother, my sensei, I could never forgive nor truly trust her.

"Still, I haven't seen you crawling back to him and begging for forgiveness. Something I suggest you highly should consider doing." I growled. Yeah, growled. Yours truly composed and stable leader was currently not that all composed and stable anymore.

She always had this kind of effect on me even from the start. Making my patience wear thin and almost near nothing, making me irrational and ineffective when I'm to make decisions, keeping me off balance within my inner self and always, always she plays with my emotions. She knew precisely which buttons to press to make me crumble and give in to the temptation of letting my emotions lead; an error and mistake a leader cannot afford to make.  
>It made me almost think that we actually were related in some way considering that she has the same kind of manners and arrogance as Raphael.<p>

"You're funny, Leo, you know that?" she questioned, although her usual sense of humor that often tainted her every words where nowhere to be heard. Instead there was only hurt.

I stirred slightly, feeling uncomfortable with her unusual tone and expression. But my own face didn't falter; it remained almost as it was painted on my skin. "How come?"

She didn't waste time answering. "The fact that you lots are hidden deep under the street of New York city, in a maze certainly loaded with hinder and traps your dear geeky brother made, the chances of me crawling through those tunnels and finding my dad is second to none."

"I'm not leading you to my home, Karai." I quickly informed her as I had already foreseen where this conversation was going. I was not going to give in and lead her to my family only because she was regretting her past.  
>She was still the enemy.<br>She could still betray us.

While shrugging nonchalantly, she retorted; "I'm not asking you too either. I only want to know how my father is doing."

It felt wrong. The way she said the words father, knowingly that it was meant for the same person that I idolized as a father figure, it was an obnoxious and unfamiliar feeling which I didn't like in the slightest.  
>Even though I knew and had to accept that Karai one day was destined to cross path with Splinter, I still didn't have to like it.<p>

I don't know if it was the 'weak' side of me that was the cause of me sighing vaguely in defeat, or if I merely had given in to the sorrow and regret I could feel through her aura. Either way I lowered my gaze and crossed both of my arms across my torso; inhaling deeply to calm my nerves before I decided to speak up.

"Splinter is doing fine." I started, and I heard her move slightly as to certainly get a better look at my expression. Unfortunate for her I was not going to let her get that enjoyment of seeing me and my inner struggle anytime soon.

"He's recently been dealing with a cold, but it was nothing serious that made him stay in bed for more than a day."

She started to giggle a bit, but I honestly didn't know if it was sincere or not.

"Glad to hear he's doing great, still."

Shrugging lightly and still leaning against the bricked wall, I nodded in agreement for I too was glad that my father figure was being healthy and well.

"Well, now with that behind our backs, what was your reason for calling me here this time? A lady is often very busy with lots of things in mind and prefers to handle things quickly. Also, if I were to stay any longer I'm sure that the Shredder will notice." I heard her suddenly state calmly, although alike her I too am able to see and hear the stress, thereby I also noticed the impatient that vaguely tainted her sharp voice.

"Indeed." I conceded, straightening my back as to stand without leaning against the wall. Increasing the space between the two of us, I started to walk with easy steps across the room; carefully as to not leave my back completely widely open for any surprise attack that she might throw at me.  
>Her eyes did not leave me even for a second.<p>

Breathing in deeply and sorting my thoughts away from mixed emotions and anxiety; I continued.  
>"What we have going on, you and me. Our pact, plans and peace that we have formed and created between us for the past four month..."<p>

I paused shortly; once again sorting out my instinct and emotions from my thoughts and rational ideas. "...They're weak; Unsteady and frail. They are all incomplete, and I'm sure you also are aware of that."

I noticed her form stiffen slightly by my sudden statement, but she didn't do much as of to argue back. Which simply concludes that what I just informed her must have passed her mind at least once.

Seeing as she wouldn't make an input, I simply took it as she was agreeing with me. Quickly I began to form the words again and as I wandered the muddy ground around the room I suddenly found myself only to be a few feet away from her.  
>"If they're weak and incomplete, there's no doubt that there will be fearful consequences."<p>

"And if there's consequences there's always a risk at stake." She filled me in calmly, probably seeing where I was going with this.

I let a weak and almost invisible smirk caress my lips as the thought of the two of us were finally agreeing and working together as a single unit again after so long..."A risk which might coast lives." I finished, letting said smirk now completely vanish from my now frowning face as I was more than serious.

She on the other hand apparently didn't find that fact to be as horrifying as I did as she suddenly gave away a light snicker, although bringing her one hand up to her mouth as an attempt to mute herself when she saw the hostile look in my stare which I sternly directed at her.

Between giggles, she asked me teasingly; "So, what are you suggesting Leonardo? Fearless leader?"

I jerked at the oh too familiar nickname; face twitching in slight irritation by the resentful and silly words which I so often got to hear from my irrational and impulsive hot-headed brother.  
>Nonetheless I kept my composure steady and made sure as to not leave a single disrupted emotion on my now neutral face. She would not see me as weak.<p>

Not breaking the eye-contact which we both had found us in, I continued; "It's just a thought that has been lingering in my head for a while now, but I don't want to make any decisions without you knowing of it. After all, we both swore with our honor to keep this as a pact. No secrets."

I awaited her input, but it never came; instead she only nodded in understanding and let me continue.  
>Swallowing hard, I felt my tense muscles finally relax lightly by each word that sternly yet simply came out of my mouth. "I want my brothers in on the plan to take down The Shredder."<p>

Raphaels POV

A while after Casey had brought me that delicious cup of hot-chocolate, I had somewhat regained and increased the warmth in my limbs and form, although even if I was satisfied with my now somewhat natural temperature, I still had the comforting blanket around my broad shoulders and body. If you get offered a blanket on a cold, winter night, stop acting rough and tough and just accept the damn blanket.  
>I learned that the hard way.<p>

Both Casey and I kept going with our usual talk for a couple of hours; what he found to be so boring in school and how passionate his hate to History classes was were our main subject at the time, and as humble and kind as I am I couldn't keep my mouth shut and obviously started to brag about how lucky I am for getting to ditch it.

As mentioned, this harmful conversation kept going on for a while, although not that long enough as I had kind of hoped for it to be.

"Y'know, you could always spill the beans and tell him. It couldn't be that bad—"

As understanding and sincere that I knew he was being, I could not believe my ears as to what he was currently suggesting me to do, and I made sure as to let him get a piece of my mind too as to clarify just how ridiculous that sounded like.

I was slightly hysterical when I talked, but I could care less at the moment. "Do you even hear yourself? Me telling Leo, my strictly and determined nerdy leader with pride welling up his ears and honor binding him to serve the path of ninjutsu? Pfft, get real."

"I am—Look, you never know."

I gave him a skeptical look, although he didn't seem to mind it as he continued with his speech.

"You two fight a lot, I get that, but did y'know there's a saying that the opposite attracts the opposite?"

"Meaning?"

Casey literally gave himself a face palm before he rolled his eyes a bit too over dramatically towards my incredulous feature. "Meaning, meat-head, that he's pretty much bound to find out sooner or later. You two need to have a serious talk without Mikey and Don, and just let it all out."

I drew a shaky breath, no doubt was he getting on my nerves but he also seemed to honestly believe that there actually was a shot for me to get through with this without getting kicked out of my family. There was no way I could be able to tell him, and even if I for some absurd and stupid way managed to, he would without a doubt cut me into pieces faster than what I could draw my sai. He would never truly trust me again either, and just the thought of him disowning me after everything that we've being going through is more than what I can handle.

_'wow, Raph, keep it together. Sappy is not your thing.' _

I dared myself to meet Casey's eyes after a short amount of time, and no doubt was he genially waiting for me to give him the answer which would lead me to my defeat and doom. No way in hell.

"No way in hell." I voiced my thoughts strictly and firm, meaning end of conversation.  
>A slight frown starting to creep up on my face at the fact that I knew that I would never be able to spill my feelings for Leo either. Ever.<p>

Casey, too, started to frown at my direct and final statement, but I could care less about what he thought at the moment. This was not his problem to bear, and it was not his to solve either.

"That's it then?" he asked bluntly, although the sudden harshness in his tone made my turn my head slightly towards his feature, only to find that he was no longer frowning. His brows where down as before, but the specific sign of his mouth being strictly twitching downwards together with his nostrils widening as he spoke were enough information for me to conclude that he was angry.  
>No, furious, outrageous, simply madden maybe?<p>

Whichever it was it left me there thinking for a while, which was a while enough for Casey to unexpectedly stand up on his feet and unexpectedly jump towards me; landing on top of me as I fell over on my back. I grunted under the sudden pressure and I desperately breathed in for very much needed air as he had almost scared me to death; making me lose the air in my lungs the same second he vehemently had crashed into me.

What happened next was not uncalled for, but it did not hinder the pain from spreading on my newly punched face as the now sensitive and fragile skin was throbbing and gathering heat.  
>With reflex still intact and working I quickly sent my right fist shooting up; attempt to let it hit his cheek but unfortunate for me he had me effectively pinned to the floor with each of his hands strictly holding both of my wrist. That and additional with how badly the cold had effected my still stiffen muscles, I could do nothing but lay there on the wooden floor.<p>

I desperately tried to fight him off, kicking, moving and head-butting, but he was solid as a rock and did not do much than to evade my frustrated kicks.

"You're just gonna be a big wuss about this, huh Raph? You're just gonna avoid it and run away from it like some damn scared little kid?!" he spat at me; growling as he did so and I could not remember when I'd last seen those fiery eyes that before had been thrown at villains and now were dangerously directed at me.

Still I fought back from his hold, but still to no fucking use and I instead let out my frustration through insults and harsh words which I was sure I would regret saying later.  
>Not now; now he deserved every damn word he was getting.<p>

Although, as always, this human had the tendency to actually succeed in ignoring me unlike any other of my brothers did. It was slightly obnoxious for me to be honest. "You're just a damn wimp, and you're too afraid to do anything about it!"

He was mocking me, I was sure of it. He wanted me to lose my temper, wanted me to admit it. He knew he was in control of the situation and he knew that I could no nothing as to stop him. He was strong, now also stronger than me because of the cold that had paralyzed my muscles.

Wait—Admit it?  
>What is there to admit? That I'm afraid?<br>Heck no. Raphael is not afraid of anything.

"You're scared, a scared little turtle too wimpy and puny to face your fear!"

"I am not! Shut up!" I barked back, still struggling and fighting for freedom but he only applied more of his weight as to keep me from escaping his hold.

I could without a doubt already feel the anger inside of me take a hold on my already fragile mind, but without the control of my body where it usually lays and forms itself, the only use I had for the mass of anger that welled up inside was to simply grunt and move around as much as possible. It filled me with much needed adrenaline, but not enough seeing as Casey was still holding on.  
>Damn fucker...<p>

"Are too, and you know it! You're just too scared to admit it!" he countered, smirking when he saw that he was getting under my skin.

I sternly shut my eyes in haste as I could do only that and nothing more as to keep his horrible, yet hurtful words of obvious truth away from my conscious.  
>Was he right? Was I...afraid? I wasn't...I was not afraid of anything!<br>Was I?

_'No, I'm not scared—Not scared of anything...!' _

Still I stubbornly held my eyelids tightly shut while I simply didn't want to face my friends knowing and sincere, yet irritating and disbelieving stare.

_'Didn't want to, or can't...?'_

"I'm not—" I had no idea how fragile, weak, small and uncertain I could sound like. My voice was shaking together with my body. My mind was clouded and a mess, surely from the pressure and the many words Casey had thrown on me. I was sweating; small damp and light drops were gently rolling down on my sides and body and kept falling to the floor one after another, but were it from anger? Was I feeling the familiar anger rise once again to the next step? Did I become so mortified that my temper got the better of me and 'evolved'?  
>No...It wasn't. I felt no anger. Not more than I necessary needed at the moment. This was not anger; it was not familiar to what I normally categorized as anger. It felt icily cold instead of the insufferable heat that normally consumed me. It was almost the exact same feeling I'd felt that many nights ago while on patrol with my brothers and that bitch had planted her lips on Leos. It was almost as horrifying and still unfamiliar as that time.<p>

"Admit it!" I heard Casey shout mockingly and loud in my ears, and without further due I spat back without thinking.

"I can't!"

_'Can't?'_

I heard Casey make a delightful and sincere laughing sound before he eased his grip around my wrists. Still not letting go though.  
>"Why not? Why can't you?" he asked; although still sounding demanding and I could do nothing more than to finally give in to his obnoxious and demonstrative game.<p>

Now lying still on the floor I swallowed. "I—I can't...He...Leo will hate me..." I managed to say between now exhausting breathes; eyes still tightly shut and limbs quivering slightly from the tension and fear that I now realized had taken place in my body from the beginning.

Swallowing hard and feeling my dry throat itch and ache from the fight, I swallowed a few more times before I managed to speak up again. "I can't risk that...I don't want him hating me. I'm afraid he'll hate me..."

Finally I could feel Casey fully release his grip around me and he ever so lightly backed away from me as to be certain that I wouldn't attempt an attack. He could rest easy this time around, 'cause if I wasn't so mentally unstable at the moment I would've been sure to give back double of what he threw at me.

I slowly lifted myself up from the floor and seated myself against the wall behind; leaning back and breathing out once again as to calm myself.

Casey was seated next to me, and he too breathed hard and looked as tense as I felt. No doubt this was as exhausting and difficult as it had been for me to finally come in peace with my own fears.

"Leo is your bro, Raph. He can't—wont hate you." I heard him assure me calmly and honest, although even if I wanted to believe in those soothing words, I still couldn't even imagine myself asking Leo to spend his life together with me and not only as an normal brother, but as a lover at that.

"Get real, Casey. The chances that he doesn't slice me to bits when he hears it is near impossible and the risk I take could ruin everything." I tried to reason with him, tried to honestly make him stop from attempting to make me give in to my longing desire.

He shifted lightly where he was seated and I could feel him lay his eyes on me as he spoke gently. "But it's not impossible. There's no saying that he will, as you put it, disown you. You never know until you give it a go, man."

I tried to deny it, but he did have a point. The chances might be almost at the bottom of the ocean, but they weren't all hopeless and impossible, they still did exist even if it was only a small amount. But who was I kidding? Even if Leo did maybe swing that way, there was no telling he'll get together with me. I'm the one that always get on his nerves, get in his way. I always fight him and deny his leadership, altogether I constantly give him a bad day and surely also lower his self-confident... Why would he get together with me when I'm the one always bothering him?

"Would he even try to picture us together?" I asked sounding weak and shallow, but by the small snicker from my right I was sure that Casey had heard me.

"Come on, dude. Where's the turtle that never loses a fight no matter what?"

For a second I could feel a tingling sensation touch my lips, making me almost give away a small smile even though it wasn't the right moment for it.

Quickly I covered it up with a light frown; turning my head and staring at Casey a bit sorrowful.

"This is not a fight, Casey. And Leo is not a price I can win over." Oblivious for me I hadn't noticed how much my brows had eased. No doubt Casey saw it because in the next second he grabbed me by the shoulder and gave me a slight comforting and confident boosting man-hug.

Obviously I tried to shake him off, but after a second or two I decided to give up; thinking it wasn't worth the time and stamina that still had left in my body.

"But you're not a guy who give up, right? You fight to the very end of it and you're always passionate about things; be it for the good or for the better. You always try your best, Raph. You never give up. Is this time going to be any different?" He asked, or more stated; an unnoticeably excitement hinting in his voice which unwittingly also made me give in to the sincere and slight hope that still lingered, making me smile even though I knew it might be all in vain.

"Last time I check he wasn't gay. " I inquired, although I knew that was a weak comeback, it was all that I had left.

He was quick to answer with a laugh following shortly after. "Last time I checked you weren't either. Leo is an exception of course."

With that comment he had me going, and at that moment I didn't know when I'd laughed so honest and real the last time. It was, least to say, relaxing to finally be able to breathe again. Without hesitation I now put my own arm around the neck of my friend; still laughing and giggling like a girl, but boy was this one needed laugh.

In a pause between short giggle and inhales, Casey now asked me what my plans were for the night, and for the second time that night I smirked; only this time it wasn't with turmoil and indecisively, it was a smirk set for a goal.

"I'm getting it over with. I'm going to tell Leo when I get home."

* * *

><p>CLIFFHANGER .w.<p> 


	6. Chapter 5

Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.  
>Pairing; LeonardoRaphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)  
>Rating; M<br>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.  
>Based on the 2k12 series.<br>Enjoy your stay!  
>-<p>

The travel against harsh winds with slight frozen and slippery grounds made it hard for the terrapin breathing being outside to withstand the desire for the warmth and comfort in a cozy bed. It was no doubt that the bigger terrapin was in need of heat to keep his body functioning properly; it was one thing he'd became sure of as his last encounter and 'fight'-if you could call it a fight- with Casey had made him to realize just how stunned and paralyzed his limbs and muscles actually became when being cold and frozen for far too long. Stating the obvious, it's not actually that big of a surprise to him now that he thought of it, seeing that he actually was an ordinary turtle with an ordinary cold-blooded body to begin with.

Fighting back the stunning wind, Raphael kept going forward; turning and jumping across the roof tops while desperately searching for the nearest manhole cover that would lead him home. He knew once inside the sewers, the steam and heated waste water inside would be enough for him to regain his senses and strength until he got home, but as there was no such luck in finding the grounded door to his lair that was not surrounded by humans, Raphael kept increasing his speed and continued his search elsewhere; mentally cursed himself for rushing out from his protected home without some proper clothes as the cold almost became unbearable for him and his already cold-blooded body.

One would think that it should be obvious for him to know as to where all the locations for the manhole covers were since they've lived in the New York sewers their entire lives, and although that might be true they still didn't get to leave for their first surface adventure until they were 15 years old. 2 years ago to be exact.  
>Raphael however was pretty confident and proud of his territorial knowledge as his other brothers weren't that keen on actually exploring the word above for some abnormal reason. He'd figure that they all would be more than excited to go topside now when they actually could, but the so called 'excitement' didn't last very long, and in the end Raphael couldn't cope up with the others and simply went on his own adventures instead.<p>

Yet, still here he was. Big and mighty mutant Raphael VS The cold and agonizing freeze. Who would've thought he'd get lost in his own gigantic and personal playground?

Oh, the irony.

He could always turn around and retreat back to Casey's place and await the time for when the storm would ease up, and although it was a really tempting and better alternative than to wander around outside between buildings and allays like a rat in a maze trying to find it's cheese, Raphael wouldn't let himself turn on his tracks and run with his tail between his legs this time around.

Casey had made him realize things about himself and about the many inevitable things which will eventually come across his new chosen path in life; some might tend to be good, but nothing good comes without some hinders to block your way.  
>Raphael was fully aware of the risks that he was determined to face, even if it meant to go up against his own kind and family. He would stand with honor for what his selfless emotions sought and craved, for what he felt was right in his head and for what he knew would change his life even for the worse or the better; he would trust his guts like he always had in the past.<br>This time wouldn't be any different than before, it was simply a mare hinder in his already crooked path that he needed to travel through with a head risen high up with pride and determination.

Raphael wasn't known for being the stubborn hothead for nothing, and he would _not_ go down and be declared defeated without giving it his all and putting up with a fight.  
>He was going to confess. Tonight.<br>No arguing, no fooling around, no irrational temper and the usual hotheaded attitude. He was not going to mess this up.

Raphael breathed hard as he came to a halt down in a shady alleyway and he felt relieved to see the familiar seal of steal which could take him down to the underground. Mustering the strength that was needed to get the manhole cover removed from its place, Raphael was quick and handled it with enough prudence so to make sure no one would hear him. Something he'd rather not have this night is to have some jerk following him home, and he definitely didn't want to get another scolding from Leo that he was sure would come shortly after.  
>This night was to be handled with much cautions and different maneuvers which Raphael's temper and impatient actions normally didn't cope with, but if he wanted to have a shot with Leonardo and maybe actually get something from all the trouble he'd been going through in the past, he figured he'd at least try to make up a plan for it.<p>

Uncovering the grounded hole, Raphael swiftly jumped down after he'd made sure that the heavy cover was in place again and he landed softly on the wet and damp cemented floor, a chill creeping across his spine and limbs as the steamed and somewhat warm water became as an sudden embrace against his shaking form.  
>For only a second or two he let himself be swiped away from the very much needed warmth, but he was quick to pick up his speed once he remembered that his way home was quite the run, and he preferred to actually get home as fast as possible so that his determination wouldn't crumble into nothingness.<p>

He ran for a good amount of time before he finally saw the familiar vehicle being neatly parked outside his younger brother's lab. Relief and exhaustion finally hit his system and mind once he let his eyes fall on his home and living room, and almost automatically he let his body lead him to one of the seats on the couch where he let his body fully relax and regain its strength.  
>He wasn't going to fall asleep. That he couldn't afford nor allow such luxury at the moment, so instead he just let his eyelids rest for a while before he decided to turn on the TV. Hopefully that would keep him awake.<p>

It was hours past midnight; almost more corrected to say it was early morning than late at night as it was only an hour or so left before Leonardo would begin his morning meditation and training.

Groaning by the thought and the sudden remembered purpose of him running home, Raphael leaned down on the rough fabric that covered the couch so that he lay with his back against it; palms sought to hide his now slight red tainted cheeks as he knew what was awaiting him.  
>He'd figured that the anxiety and the ticking bomb of emotions inside of him had been disposed of the second he had confronted and accepted it all together at Casey's place, but now when he actually was home and was feeling anything but cold and depressed he instead felt such intense restlessness and mixed emotions such as an igniting desire and a terrorizing fear starting to overwhelm him and take over.<p>

"Raphie, 's that you?" sounded a slurred, yet barely audible voice from all the way across the lair.  
>Slightly startled by the sudden presence in the room, Raphael shook away his reddish-like colored face and eased his composure before he peeked up behind the couch only to find a drowsy and yawning Michelangelo now walking towards him.<p>

Without further due, the sai wielder replied steadily. "Yeah. Sorry I woke you up, Mikey." Using his head he gestured towards the television as he spoke which implied and told Mikey that it was the cause of him waking up. Although said younger turtle only shook his head and now leaned forward towards the couch and stood right next to his older brother.

"Nah, don't worry 'bout it. Training's about to start in an hour or two anyway so might as well get started on breakfast." He stated with ease; having the cheerful and noticeable grin already plastered on his lips as he gave Raphael a wink to emphasize his statement.

"By the way Raphie, where did you run off to? You got lost again or somethin'? You were gone pretty long, y'know."

Frowning slightly by the given nickname, Raphael grunted before answering. "I want to Casey's place. I needed some air."

Michelangelo raised his brows and tugged closer to Raphael and placed a hand on the side of his brothers arm; drawing it back hastily like he'd just been stung by a bee. "Dude you're like a walking popsicle! You actually forgot to bring your jacket? Oh wow, that's a new kind of stupid, Raphie." The enthusiastic turtle exclaimed teasingly; causing to worsen Raphael's already tempted temper so that he smacked his brother hard on the head.

The orange clad turtle moaned in pain and brought both his hands up to the sour area on his head and tried to sooth it gently.

"Dude, not cool!" said Michelangelo while still caressing his throbbing head.

"You started it!" Raphael argued loudly as his temper got the bad of him.

"Me?" came the sarcastic yet playful response. "I wasn't the one who ran out without some proper clothes after having a fight with Captain Leonardo!"

"Hey, he was the one who lunged at me afterwards! I'm not taking any blame for him when he lost his temper!"

"Like some other part animal we know around here, maybe?"

"Okay, that's it!" the red clad turtle exclaimed as he launched towards his younger brother determined to even his face out together with the ground that the both of them were now currently lying on.

Michelangelo's desperate and pleading shouts echoed in the lair as the two brothers fought on the floor; each of them sought to become the dominance one even though both of them knew very well that Raphael was the strongest one of the siblings. Still, the sea green turtle refused to simply give up and he actually succeeded to push Raphael away a few times. But the inventible loved to prove Michelangelo to be wrong and before he knew it he was officially pinned down with his hotheaded brother steady on top of him.

"Girls, girls, could you please not cause such noise this early in the morning? There are people in New Jersey that are still trying to sleep!" barked their genius brother who apparently must have heard the shouting and cussing from the duo and decided to simply get up since there was no way he could go back to sleep with those two bickering .

Both of the now hard breathing brothers stopped on their tracks as their brother walked in on their now halted fight, and while Raph gave a small 'sorry', Michelangelo desperately pleaded for help from the genius as he continued the struggle against the second oldest.

Said genius sighed tiredly before he turned on his tracks and set his new destination towards the coffee machine in the kitchen.

"Donnie, you traitor!" accused the youngest as he saw his older brother causally walk away from the duo.

"Coffee." Donatello responded in a zombie-like behavior and some small statement and words could also become audible such as 'too early for this' and 'so tired.'

A small whimper escaped from the orange clad turtle as his only defense against the rebellious brother was now gone, and he could literally feel the ungracious smirk said older brother currently displayed on his face and features.

"No knight in shiny armor for you, lil' bro." Stated Raphael darkly; teeth baring themselves as his smirk grew wider at the sight of his younger brother gulping in terror.

As of a cue and an answered prayer much to Michelangelo relief, their oldest brother suddenly walked out from his room to attend his morning activities, but he came to an abrupt and sudden halt as his eyes locked themselves on those of neon green ones, and suddenly both of the oldest found themselves to have the difficulties to actually move for a short amount of time.

The agonizing and pleading from the youngest however broke whatever spell that had been thrown at the two, and Leonardo was the first one to avert his stare to the one person currently lying in defeat beneath the hothead.

Before Leonardo even had uttered a word of disapproval or given one of his famous lectures, Raphael had in a flash picked himself up and off of the younger turtle and now stood with two steady feet on the concrete floor a few steps away.

Bewildered by the act from the usual irrational turtle, the leader decided to aid his baby brother and check for whatever harm that he could've gotten. Luckily for Raphael he had none that looked too bad. Only a few bruises here and there which was common for the duo when they fought.

"Suck it Raph! I got my shiny knight right here!" Michelangelo shouted in triumph and gestured a thumb at the sword wielding brother beside him.

"Knight?" asked Leonardo confused and looked at the youngest but knew that he was probably better off not knowing whatever internal joke that those two had made.

However instead of bickering back with the youngest and start off where the earlier fight had ended, Raphael was giving Leonardo his full attention and the sai wielder knew the moment he laid his eyes on him that he'd been sleeping for only a small amount of time this night, but if it was from the pain he'd gotten from the beating or from the obvious guilt that he was feeling for losing his composure, Raphael didn't know.

Shifting slightly and changing his stance to a steadier one, Raphael suddenly remembered his main goal and purpose for running home in the crazy cold outside, and now when the time was so close and the secret so near to be revealed butterflies started to wreak havoc like they were thousands of them in his stomach. He felt more sick rather than excited than to actually be so close to the person he was crushing on.

Apparently Leonardo caught the slight nervousness and awkward air that whirled around his brother, as he out of concern took a step forth and asked with caution;

"Something wrong Raph?"

When five seconds had already passed and Raphael hadn't given a respond, Leonardo knew that there was indeed something wrong.

"Nah Leo, everything's peachy." It wasn't the respond that he'd hoped for, and the sarcastic yet slightly tainted fear in his voice made the leader more concern and worried for the other.

The blue clad turtle turned to the youngest who still was standing beside him, and using a soft and calm voice he inquired Michelangelo to join their genius brother in the kitchen to prepare their breakfast.

"Sure, but why—"

"Just do as I tell you, Mikey. Raph and I need to talk."

Raph tensed at that. "No we don't." he argued stubbornly.

"Yes we do." The leader firmly stated; turning his stare at the second oldest. "We need to talk. No arguing."

Michelangelo stood silently beside the oldest duo, not daring to even utter a word because he feared it would make things more obnoxious than they already were. He'd figure that they both would be in a heated argument right about now, but surprisingly enough they weren't. And Michelangelo wasn't going to wait around and stand in the middle of it when it happened, so without further due he quickly made his way across the room and towards the kitchen to where his not-so-frightening brother still remained.

Waiting until they no longer had their baby brother in sight, Leonardo turned around from the other and started walking towards the lab; gesturing at Raphael to follow shortly after he'd opened the metallic door.  
>Raphael followed without further complains or arguments, although in his head there was currently too much to process and comprehend so he could simply do nothing else than to be led by the leader in to the gigantic room.<p>

With both now inside, Leonardo made sure as to close the door firmly before he turned to the company now oddly enough standing a few feet away from him.

Collected, yet with caution, Leonardo decided to be the one to start. "There won't be any unnecessary interference in here. So whatever you want to throw at me, go ahead."

slightly taken aback with the comment, Raphael vehemently answered. "What I—what about you? You're the one that lost his temper last time around. If someone in this room is to start a tantrum, it's sure as hell ain't I."

Frowning slightly, Leonardo retorted. "I remember your bad temper being the cause of my lack of composure at that time, Raph."

Snorting at the remark, Raphael dared himself to look at his brother and face him with a smirk neatly placed on his lips. "Some leader you are than; getting so unstable only because of some weak punches I threw at you."

"Weak or not, it wasn't the hit that hurt. It was the fact that you actually did hit me that made me so...so mad-unfocused and—..."

"...Scared?" Raphael filled in when he saw that Leonardo somehow wasn't able to complete it.

"Not scared." He assured him sternly when he saw the slight terror reflect in his brother's eyes. "I'll never become scared of you, Raph. You're my hotheaded and unreasonable brother, and sure you have your flaws as any other being, but honestly I prefer you being that way; unpredictable and irresponsible. It completes our team."

Raphael surpassed a sarcastic chuckle escape. "Is that your way of saying sorry?"

"At least I'm trying." Smiled the sword wielder; relieved that he'd been wrong about his brother being mad at him for their last encounter and fight. "So?" He asked somewhat intrigued.

Tapping lightly with his one foot on the concrete floor, Raphael unwittingly scratched the crook of his neck in embarrassment type of manner before he cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm...Y'know, I'm sorry."

"Wasn't all that hard, now was it?" teased the oldest and the playful hit and fist to his right upper arm was not something which wasn't uncalled for.

"Don't get up on that high horse yet, Leo. I haven't heard those words left your mouth and I'm not planning on forgiving you until they do. "Raphael argued, feeling humiliated from being looked down upon, but still feeling relived and glad that Leonardo wasn't angry with him as he earlier thought.

Rolling his eyes, Leonardo inhaled lightly and inspected his brother's form and feature before swallowing his pride and apologized properly.

"I'm sorry for my immature behavior yesterday, and I will gather every inch of my willpower to make sure that it never happens again." He vowed with his right hand placed on top of his plastron in the area where his heart should be located.

"Drop the high and mighty act, fearless. An apology was all I asked for, not for a promise which you can't keep."

Bewildered and slightly curious to the reply, Leonardo smile turned to the more of a troubled one as he asked; "What do you mean by that? I always keep what I promise. You should be aware of that."

"You can't be in control of something that you know nothing of, Leo. You think just because you're usually so calm and composed you can just own your tempted instinct and train them to obey you?"

Leonardo wasn't precisely comfortable with the turned tables and shifted positions that were currently occurring. Usually it was him that gave Raphael the lecture about maturity and control, but somehow this time it was the complete opposite around. Leonardo didn't like that at all.

"As a matter of fact yes, I do." He retorted without any misgivings being audible in his voice.

Raphael shook his head; A smirk beginning to take form in his feature." You're so naïve, big brother. Haven't you seen what my anger leads me to do? To become?  
>I've fought with my temper my whole life Leo, and fuck me if it has changed for the better. I can't control it, and I'll be damned if you know how to since you looked like you were going to hurl when you were with Donnie after our fight."<p>

"I am in control of my emotions Raph. You'll be surprised what good meditation and patience can do to you."

Now baring his teeth, Raphael couldn't surpass a sarcastic laugh when he saw that his brother spoke like he actually believed himself. "That's the thing, Leo. You don't control them. You flow with them. Go against them and you'll end up like a walking stress bomb that's ready to blow any minute." He explained and made a motion with his hands that would be the simulation of how a bomb explodes.

"Meditation doesn't help shit."

"They do if you'd just have—"

"No, Leo. They don't. Meditation doesn't help at all! The calming sensation you feel when you're meditating is only when you're in that space, it's not disappearing. It never disappears!

"You can't fight it, because if you do you'll become mad; crazy even at a point and you don't know what to do with yourself because your instinct tells you one thing while your mind tells you the complete opposite.

"But in the end you will still struggle to keep them shut and locked in inside of you because you're too scared to admit them out loud and to afraid you'll hurt the ones you deeply care about..."

Finishing with the vehement and baffled conceded vent, Leonardo was leas to say chocked by his brothers words and abnormal behavior.  
>Pensive and concerned Leonardo took a step towards the other and asked; "We're still talking about me...right?"<p>

Reflexes and realization hit Raphael and he quickly took a step back the second his brother took one forth towards him. If this was humiliating, then what would it actually feel like to tell him that he loves him?

Clearing his throat, Raphael averted his stare and fixed them to some blueprints on the wall to his left. He didn't dare to answer though as he was afraid that his voice would give away how deeply the fear of being disowned had grown on to him.

"Raph...You don't actually believe that we're afraid of you? Do you?"

A shrug was the only answer that the leader asked for, but not even a light grunt or movement became visible on the other figure, which made Leonardo even more than concern and worried for his younger brother's well-being. _Have these thoughts been haunting his mind for a long or short period of time?_

"Raph, I would- our family would never think that about you. You should know by now that our family is not independent in the slightest, and every member has their own unique way to help."

He paused shortly to see if he was getting a reaction from the other, but not even a nick at his way. Inhaling deeply he continued.

"You might have a temper, I won't argue with you about that, but just because of that side of you, there's also the softer side of Raphael which always cares deeply for others. You are now and will always be there for them, for me, and I'll always love you for that."

There was a quiet moment where none of the two brothers said anything, but unfortunate for Leonardo he hadn't seen how much Raphael had actually flinched and reacted to his choice of words. Much to Raphaels delight actually, however although he knew that those three lovely words were nothing else than meant as simply brotherly love, he still felt the fluttering feeling in his stomach and he couldn't stop his smile from growing.

"You big sap." He finally responded, closing his eyes as he did so and turning to actually face the cause of his mental and physical problems.

"Big brother does sometimes have to be sappy, but if it makes you feel any better I meant every word." He cheerfully stated now when he finally got his hothead to react.

Somewhat nonchalantly Raphael responded; "Of course you did. Only your average sappy turtle Leonardo says something as poetical and have mentions of love. Geez bro, I'm not afraid you'll disown me or something."

_Not anymore. _

Snorting a laugh, Leonardo felt his composure falter and he could not surpass a gentle giggle at the sarcastic act his brother was playing. _Maybe it was nothing to be bothered about._

After a short time of exchanged internal jokes those two had made, both of their laughs began to echo in the gigantic room and they both simply lost track of time as there suddenly was someone tapping sternly and irritated with his one foot against the hard ground next to the doorframe.

"You two, out. Now." Donatello half barked, half sated and the two oldest brothers were out in a flash as they rather not face an angry scientist this early in the morning. The coffee has yet to begin taken its effect.

The duo walked with peace towards the living room where they spotted Michelangelo lying carefree on the couch with the significant pizza slice in his hand and the remote controller in the other.

"Might as well watch some TV before training, sensei will surely wake up soon too, so no use going to sleep." Leonardo told the second oldest as they both neared the youngest.

"Nah, I'm going to grab something to eat. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday's breakfast. Want some too?" he suggested while turning his tracks towards the kitchen instead.

"Maybe some tea then; blackberry if there's still some left." Leonardo ordered and Raphael gave him the 'ok' sign with his fingers.  
>Stopping on his way, Raphael turned around slightly to look at his leader, and to no surprise Leonardo was doing the same.<p>

"Hey, Leo." Begun the sai wielder and he could already feel the content grin showing more joy than what he actually was okay with revealing.

Nonetheless said leader answered with a yes and waited for whatever it was that Raphael seemed to be very happy about.

"Y'know, me too. I love you too."

Before the red clad turtle even had gotten the chance to see the however his brothers reaction was, he had swiftly turned around and walked in to the kitchen. He was almost certain that it would be a genuine smile that his brother would show anyway. An appreciation which Raphael knew Leonardo would see as a brotherly compliment and nothing even near those of a lover.

It was unfortunate however that he had to be so quick on his feet, as the oldest of the four terrapin creatures currently were stunned standing straight and with a face and cheeks more reddish flushed and hot than their average green and cold-blooded ones. His heart clearly sounding anything but subtle, and for once even Leonardo feared those few whispers in the back of his head, in his darkest conscious, as they now were screaming in an irritably, yet alighting and amorous way; _I love you too._

This was not normal, and Leonardo had no idea of what he shall or should do next.

-

DUNDUNDUUN DUUUUUUUUN 


	7. Chapter 6

Hi dear T-cest reader! I just wanted to say a quick thank you for encouraging me on this story. All the favs and alerts and godeverythingthereis, you all make a fellow author really happy. Thank you for taking your time reading! ON WITH THE STORY!

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><p>Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.<br>Pairing; Leonardo/Raphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)  
>Rating; M<br>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.  
>Based on the 2k12 series.<br>Enjoy your stay, naughty and lovable people!

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><p>"It was a fluke." He stubbornly told himself, giving the punching bag yet another determined hit to its sides and he inspected its small dance while also inhaling before retaking his stance; increasing his speed this time and attacking with a much more reckless and ruthless force. "A simple misbehaved mind is all there is to this." Hitting it again and again with all his might and power even now after three hours of time, the fact that he'd been training now non-stop for that long was unnatural even for the leader, but that fact alone wasn't enough for him to quit with mercilessly terrorizing the poor punching bag.<p>

Normally the bag that hung by thick chains from the ceiling was Raphaels training tool for increasing the muscles mass, stamina and reducing his stress, but this evening this bag was taking heavily punches and striking attacks by no other than the leader in blue himself, and the sword wielder had not only physical problem to worry about such as his still throbbing nose and narrowed eye sight, but also his mental state was currently abnormally unbalanced and not focused as it usually should be.

"It's a sign that I'm not well." Breathing hard, yet also irregularly, he added one more kick to his single combat fight against the sandbag; his muscles quivering from exhaustion and the constant pressure that was put on every attack. "I'm lacking my composure!" He spat with venom and anger now rising inside, repeating his earlier kata and swooping his leg over to his 'opponents' sides; kicking it hard and with such passion and concentration that he became unable to catch the sound of its cloth ripping and tearing slightly.

He paid no thoughts to the space and rooms on the other side of the sliding doors to the dojo which he currently was occupying, and it might've been for the better since it was rarely that he got his time to actually vent out his stress and confusion without getting interrupted.  
>At the same time that he felt relived, he also knew that any of his family members could just casually walk in on him while he was throwing his tantrum, and having such humiliated and intimidated action take place in his own house was one thing which his honor wouldn't allow to happen.<p>

However at his current state in utterly confusion and wonder of what went on in both his and the irrational turtles head, the only thing which calmed Leonardo down and got his mind at ease was to let his anguish and angered thoughts flow with his strict and complicated katas.

Striking the red, rough fabric with his fist sternly clutched tight and firm, Leonardo let out a low growl when he felt the stunning and paralyzing pain crawl upon his right arm, and he figured it was his body finally telling him that he'd had far enough already. He wrinkled his brows at the sudden pain."Tch."  
>He vehemently brought his pained arm closer to himself, inspected it in haste before he let two of his fingers reach out towards a certain spot of tangled tensed nerves and muscles; applying pressure each and every second and only stopping when he didn't feel the pain sting in his arm no more.<p>

Without further due he went back to his kata and retrieved his focus while attempting to strike the sandbag once again, but the thought that had been hunting him finally made his aim miss its set target and also making his resolve and focus falter once again for probably the 10th time this evening. _'Y'know, me too. I love you too.'_

It had been such a small line, only a few words which held nothing but love towards him as a brother, yet the fact of that was confusing for the leader as he instead of feeling joy over the uttered words and love from his normally immature and ill-tempered brother, he was rather more angered and sad from the spoken words of truth.  
>It should not affect him in the way that it currently was doing and Leonardo was well aware of that simple fact, yet the pained and aching feeling that throbbed in his chest was not going unnoticed for him and he felt it reluctantly growing the more he thought of his hotheaded brother.<p>

Giving a hard and stern look at his lifeless 'sparring partner' that hung from the ceiling, Leonardo widened his stance, his legs shoved apart and he gathered his speed and strength before he rashly went on full attack mode and shoved no mercy to the bag; abusing it much to his satisfaction and relief.

"Why is it always you?!" he growled through gritted teeth, counterattacking the bag as it jerked back after his last hit. "You always, always, question me—"he continued to pummel it harshly, each and every strike growing more powerful than the last one. "You never, ever, make things easy for me, and you're constantly feeding on my mistakes—"His breath was getting irregular again and his limbs and form was not only covered in sweat, but they were also trembling like before from the exhaustion and forced attacks. Even so he still kept his stance steady and stubbornly continued to harass the trite bag. "Why do you always confuse me so?!"

With a last harsh and ruthless hit the crimson red bag suddenly ripped itself in two; spreading the yellow-like sand all around the area where it was located. Leonardo however didn't particular mind at the moment as he had now stumbled and tipped so that he was now sitting down on the floor, breathing hard and uneven with limbs that unwittingly continued to quiver without him even trying to lift them. Small damps of sweat were continually slipping and rolling along the curves and form on his leaf-green skin of his, and just for a short moment, a tiny amount of seconds, Leonardo had unconsciously started picturing Raphael right after he'd had his own work out session and how slick and well-built he actually was looking. He had muscle mass more than any other of his brothers, and there was no doubt that he was the strongest of them all, which Leonardo found to be quite sex—

"Whoa Leo hold it, no. You did not just go there." The terrapin leader scolded himself bashfully, looking behind his back in a paranoid manners as to make sure no one was actually with him.  
>Had he just thought that his own brother, the hotheaded, irrational and the immature little brother Raphael, was sexy?<br>It was ridiculous; humorous and stupid, yet Leonardo could do nothing but stare blankly with guilt at the wall and on the tower of sand that had been built from the bag.

He had thought Raphael was sexy.

_He had thought Raphael was sexy._

"That's it, it's official; I'm finally losing my mind." Leonardo declared in terror, but still the faint reddish like color that before fairly tainted his fair skin was now undoubtedly growing in both width and heat.

Groaning in irritation and fatigue, the sword wielder sought to bring his body to stand but his still throbbing limbs and muscles were anything but operational which caused his knees to give in under the pressure, and once again he stumbled to the floor while wincing in pain.

"Come on, stand up!" but his stubborn words got him nowhere even near to convince his body to move, instead he only gained a slight whimper that dared to escaped from his mouth when said body simply refused to stand and it gave in to the pain.

Leonardo however simply fought back what his body intentionally wanted and thought be the best for him, but the leader didn't care. What he wanted was to feel relief, satisfaction and that he was in control, but his actions seemed to be to no use at all and after a good amount of time he finally gave in to his quivering body and let himself lean against the wall.

"Stupid me, stupid, I'm so stupid!" he breathed out between gasps and heavy shaky inhales. "Stupid body, stupid feelings, stupid Raph, stupid—"

His barking and scolding came to an abrupt end as Leonardo finally caught a glimpse of the many millions grain of sand that was scattered on the tatami floor, and while he already knew where it all originally came from he still dared himself to turn his sight upwards to the now half ripped bag hanging and swinging from the ceiling.

He sighed dramatically when he knew how badly Raphael would scold him for this. Or rather attacking was more likely, since this is Raphael we're talking about. With Raphael it was never about talking.  
>"Oh shell...Raph is so going to kill me."<br>-

At the same time outside of the dojo were currently two of the 4 brothers occupying the TV, each of them having a consoles in hand and were both concentrated on the game displaying before them, nonetheless a few arrogant and taunting words didn't go unheard from the sofa.

"Taste the mighty fire power, oh you sorry excuse for a soldier!" shouted Michelangelo as he repeatedly pressed on one of the many buttons on the console, causing his opponent right beside him to sneer and laugh in sarcasm.

"That's what you think; now watch a real player at work!" Raphael barked back and also started to harass one specific button on the console, only stopping when he could hear the K.O from the game telling him that he was the winner this time around.

"Oh yeah, that's how it's done little bro." he deride the orange clad turtle and proceeded with fisting the air in a victory like-kind-of manner.

"Not fair, you used the boost before I got the time to counterattack!" Michelangelo argued and pouted with crossed arms over his chest as he admitted defeated.

"Life ain't fair, Mikey." Sneered the older before he grabbed his console which he'd thrown on the couch the moment he'd won. Giving his brother a content look, Raphael asked if he wanted a re-match but the other terrapin only shook his head and gestured towards the kitchen with one of his thumbs.

"Nah, I'd better start heating up the dinner. Since I'm the only one that cares about a decent meal and a happy stomach around here, you better appreciate my talents for cooking."

"Just admit it that you're afraid of losing again." Taunted the older and bared his teeth with his wide smirk that was neatly planted on his lips. "We both know that you are, no use denying it."

Standing up to empathize his frustration, Michelangelo too bared his mine of teeth as he growled a response. "Am not! I just don't want to play."

"Yeah, no use playing if you're only going to lose." Raphael sneered and shrugged in a coaxing manner, causing his younger brother to look angrily at him. Raphael however didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

In fact, the usual hothead was taking the day and time with much more ease as he normally wouldn't, and Michelangelo had noticed that his irrational brother had been far too happy than what he usually were. He does without a doubt leaves up to his given nickname as unpredictable.  
>The cause of this abnormal behavior was, however, not really that complicated nor abnormal in the slightest. He had merely succeeded in his given task and confessed his affection and love towards the leader, and even though he was certain that his composed brother only thought of his confession to be one of the love between brothers, Raphael was still proud of himself because of the simple fact that he'd manage to actually say it straight to Leonardo's face and there was now no doubt that he had gotten himself a high boost of confident by doing so. Next time he was going to make sure that Leonardo had gotten the real meaning behind those few letters.<p>

"Raph stop acting so immature." Said their genius brother who suddenly appeared behind the duo seated on the couch.

If Raphael didn't know better he would've thought that Donatello was finally done with their heater which they had been having some difficulties with as out of lately, but at the sight of the mechanical pieces in his hand and the significant goggles strapped around his skull, Raphael concluded that the fixing still needed some adjustments and work.

"Raphie started." The youngest stated and pointed accusingly with his one finger at the second oldest.

"Bonehead, you clearly chickened out." Argued the sai wielder and mimicked the youngest actions by raising a finger himself.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did no-"

"Geez guys, how old are you two? Five years old?" the purple clad turtle sighed and rubbed his temples. "Mikey go start with the food and Raph, please don't bother him and make yourself useful and check the security cameras in the sewer tunnel near the 5th block. Their screens are complete black and it worries me. "Donnie instructed and ordered, leading Michelangelo to growl slightly before he swiftly jumped over the couch and walk towards the kitchen.

Raphael however stayed put and only gave his genius brother a skeptical look; Causing said genius to roll his eyes and groan in irritation.

"I believe I made myself very clear. Do I really need to repeat the simple instructions?" He questioned when he noticed Raphael wasn't following the given orders.

A gruff grunt and a shrug was his respond. "Why should I? Maybe I want to continue playing the game?"

Looking with irritation at his nonchalant brother, Donatello countered his statement with rolling his eyes. "You rather play a game when there might be danger lurking around in our backyard? Really, Raph just go and check."

"Why not go yourself then if you think it's so important?" Raphael argued back and turned his attention towards the TV instead of the bossy form behind him.

"I'm actually working at the moment. I only went out to get some refreshments-"

"Coffee." Raphael stated with a smirk as he knew perfectly well that it was the black liquid that the genius constantly craved whenever he worked with something.

"Smart ass." Donatello commented darkly. "Getting to the point, you seemed to be qualified enough to handle the mission. Just go already."

Turning around to now face the other once again, Raphael curiously asked to why he didn't ask their leader to go instead since this so called 'mission' seemed to be taken with much caution and stealth. And as we all know Raphael doesn't do the stealth very well.

"Good idea, Raph. Have Leo accompany you. I'm sure he'll gladly come with you since he have been working out nonstop this whole evening." Donatello said and completely ignored the fact that Raphael didn't actually mean it like the way he was taking it. He was doing it on purpose, Raphael knew he was.

Changing subject completely, Raphaels stare fixed themselves on the dojo and he got quite curious about his older brother since he had indeed been in there for hours. "You heard anything from fearless beside him working out? You think he's okay?"

Donatello was slightly taken aback by the question since it was unusual for Raphael to be so concern about his brothers, especially if it was concerning Leonardo. Nonetheless he only shrugged lightly with his shoulders and glanced at the training room.

"He hasn't said anything to me at least, but you know how he gets sometimes; All productive and hardworking as always."

Still feeling incredulous and not really convinced by the purple clad turtles originally calming, yet pretty nonchalant words, Raphael now actually considered asking if his older brother wanted to tag along on the sewer run since he now recalled that their leader had been acting rather strange the whole day. Maybe a run would ease him up.

Suddenly there was a erring and wheezing noise coming from the lab, and Raphael had only a second of time to catch a glimpse of the slight horror that portrayed his brother's feature before he had in a haste stormed off into his personal room, and in a matter of seconds there was a loud 'bam' and thick black smoke welling out from the big metallic doors.

Because of the smoke Raphael couldn't really see what it was that went on in the gigantic room, but he needed not to wonder or worry for long as his younger brother made his appearance in the doorframe; coughing loudly and with lots of dust and dirt covering his olive-skin.

"The generator...generated and heated up." He informed both Raphael and the youngest who only just now had joined in on the conversation.

"Dude, you blew it up." He said and couldn't surpass a smirk which grew only wider as his older brother Raphael did the same.

Grunting slightly as to show his irritation, the only thing he gained from the action was another fit of coughs and heavy inhales; casing his already smirking brothers to actually laugh.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, Mikey." He said fiercely and gave the two a nasty look. "Now you two sure have better things to do than to stand there and stare. Get to work!"

The duo did as they were told this time around, and while both of them still laughed as they went further away from their brother, said genius brother could still hear their small snickers and taunting words. Without further due Donatello strapped his goggles tightly around his eyes and braced himself for the heavy smoke and sounds inside before he launched himself towards the cause of the already many problematic machine.

"You wanna help me with the dinner?" asked Michelangelo when they both neared the kitchen, however Raphael shook his head and gestured his head towards the dojo room with a nick.

"I'm going to get fearless for a run around the sewers. Donnie asked me to check on the security cameras too, so we'll be doing that also. "Answered the sai wielder and begun to walk towards the training room with steady steps.

"'kay, food's not getting ready for a while either, so take your time!" Michelangelo retorted and Raphael could swear that the wink he caught had some deep meaning as he also heard that the statement was unusually tainted with taunt and arrogance. Sure, it was common that the youngest often acted like their hotheaded brother, but Raphael had this agonizing feeling that told him that Michelangelo knew something which he didn't, and to tell that it bugged him to no end was putting it lightly.

Although before Raphael had the time to ask what he actually meant, Michelangelo had already retreated back to the kitchen and was humming and whistling happily like nothing had even happened.

Sighing and giving up on the thought of a confrontation with the youngest, Raphael instead figured he should be getting his older brother and get started with their afternoon run.

Nearing the steps which would lead him up to the training room, Raphael decided to proceed the walk with lighter steps and take every breath with caution since he knew Leonardo would probably be meditating, and even though Raphael often preferred to be anything but formal he still held great respect towards his leader for always being able to be just that; formal.  
>Of course that was one thing which he would never admit out load to anyone.<p>

Placing his hand around the handle, Raphael gently tugged on the closed door and let it slide open and he braced himself for a scolding which he thought was obvious to come since he'd interrupted his brothers training, but it never came.

Greeted by the giant tree growing high and mighty in the room, Raphael became even more surprised and confused to why there was no bickering yet to his sudden appearance. However once he actually went inside and let his eyes gaze the room for a moment he almost immediately spotted his exhausted brother in a seated position while leaning with his shell against the wall.

"Leo?!" shouted the hothead in utter terror at the sight before him and he quickly stormed off to his brothers side as to assist him.

Said older brother however was not only denying the offered hand and help, he also seemed to be more than astonished and surprised by the other terrapins behavior and company more than he usually were. Normally he would've just accepted the help, but clearly something was stopping him from doing just what he usually wouldn't even consider. This was not common for Raphael to be facing and battling with when it was concerning his older brother, so this new side of Leonardo was something which he wasn't really sure how to comprehend at all.

But this was not the time for thinking, so without further due Raphael begun to route his hands gently over the others damp and quivering limbs, his fingers and touch were feather like yet his hold around the blue clad turtle was firm and stern as Raphael kept gazing the others body for any signs of injuries.

Leonardo held in a yelp of complains when he felt the cold fingers against his heated body, and even though he wanted to jerk away or simply push his brother off he couldn't because of his exhausted and overstrained muscles.

"I'm fine." He stated but was surprised by how weakly his voice had sounded like. Was he that exhausted?

Raphael snorted a laugh at the sorry attempt of an escape since he knew the older brother hated to be taken care of. So as to prove that he indeed needed help this time around Raphael only tugged his brother closer and simply ignored the protesting sounds that the leader was making because of it. He was incredibly hot against his own body.

"Yeah right, I can see that you're doing perfectly great." Raphael taunted, but Leonardo couldn't help but feel the guilt overwhelm him as the worry and concern was clear in the tone he'd used. "Now let me just look atcha and see for myself, 'kay?"

"I told you I'm fine. I just...got a little too excited and overworked myself." Leonardo informed him bashfully and gasped at the pain when Raphael had touched a certain jolt of tensed nerves in his right upper arm.

"Overworked is probably the right word; you're shaking like crazy and you're really hot. Just what did you do in here?" Raphael had asked when he noticed how tense his brother was and how stiff his muscles were.

The leader flinched at the chosen words and tried desperately not to fix his senses to the soothing and cold hands that still roamed over his yet warm body, however it was almost near impossible as the comfort he was getting was very much needed and calming to both his mind and physical features.

"See, you've even started to change from green to red!" informed Raphael as he watched Leonardo's already blushing face turn even more reddish-like from the comment; unfortunate for Raphael he had no idea that he was currently the case for the leaders heated thoughts and body.

In haste and by pure reflexes by utter terror from his own thoughts and memory, Leonardo shifted quickly and with all the strength that he could muster he escaped from Raphaels hold, touch and comfort, earning a questioning look from the other.

Leonardo too seemed to be taken aback by his own actions and behavior since he was wearing the same kind of confusing expression as his brother, but Leonardo quickly covered it up with faking a frown.

"I told you I'm fine. I don't need your help." He stubbornly exclaimed and he watched Raphael change his features from confusion into utter misgiving and irritation.

"Well sucks to be you then, 'cause I ain't following orders at the moment, especially not yours."

"I just overworked myself a bit! Geez Raph I'm not dying." He exclaimed once again as he was starting to grow tired of the motherly- like Raphael before him.

"Well then..." begun Raphael and stood up with ease and he then steadily turned on his heels and walked towards the door. "I'm getting dear Donnie-boy to look atcha. I'm sure he can cure you up in no time." The leader's eyes widened at the threat.

"Wait..! Okay, okay, you can stay, just ...don't tell the others" begged the sword wielder as he gave in to his brother. To have Raphael see him like this was bad enough, it would be a horror story if his other brothers would see how beaten up he were from a mere work out session.

Smiling in triumph and from the admitted defeat from the other, Raphael made his way back to his brothers side and let his eyes fall on to the many small grains of sand that was scattered on the floor which he before hadn't notice because of his worry for Leonardo. Now however when he knew that danger wasn't fatal he let his stare guide themselves from the small mountain of sand on the floor to the half ripped bag hanging and dangling from the ceiling.

Stunned while standing and least to say furious to see that his own hand made punching bag was ruined, Raphael gritted his teeth and pointed at it while turning to look at an now really concern Leonardo.

"It was an accident! I can explain!" he hurried to point out as a defense, but he knew the hothead wouldn't listen.

"Heck that it was! You simply decided to pummel my bag and not noticing that it was ripping?!" Raphael accused furiously and forcefully grabbed his older brother in the arm; yanking him up and dragging him towards the exit of the dojo.

"I'm taking you to Don, whatever you like it or not, I don't care!" He half barked, half ordered and he felt the leader trying to struggle for freedom from his hold around his wrists.

"Don't- Raph, let go!"

Grunting and holding his anger in, Raphael decided to shift his hold and grasp of his brother and he proceeded with taking ahold around Leonardo's waist with one steady arm and around his legs in another one; effectively sweeping him off from the ground and carrying him bridal-style in his broad chest and arms.

"Raphael!" shouted the sword wielder apprehensively, yet Raphael had caught the black orbs in his leader's eyes emerging and widening and his cheeks unwittingly getting redder from his actions. Raphael simply smirked at that and could feel his heart flutter at the sight in his arms.

"Payback for mercilessly killing my bag, fearless." He stated simply though his smirk and continued on his path towards his set destination; Donatello's lab. 

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><p>Might not have been what I originally planned, but I enjoyed it nonetheless! It works, right?<br>Of course it does.


	8. Chapter 7

**IM BACK BITCHES **  
><strong>Thanks for being patient with me, I'm sorry for taking FOREVER <strong>  
><strong>Whatever, you just want the T-cest don't ya? <strong>  
><strong>Yeah, thought so.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.<strong>  
><strong>Pairing; LeonardoRaphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)**  
><strong>Rating; M<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.<strong>  
><strong>Based on the 2k12 series.<strong>

"Well, the good thing is that the numbness you feel in your muscles is only temporarily and will wear off in time." Donatello explained as he further inspected his patient who currently occupied one of the beds in his lab. "The bad news however, is that your limbs and said muscles need rest and to not be overstrained, meaning that you are not to train, fight or even do anything which can put your health at risk."

Leonardo looked at his brother and moaned in irritation. "You cannot be-"

"Yes, I am very serious Leo. I don't want you getting permanent damages just because you're so naïve and stubborn and refuses to take a single day off of training." Said the genius and reached out for a cup of water near his desk and handed it to his leader. "You can manage one day without your exercises, just stay hydrated and rest."

The blue clad turtle frowned and turned his stare at the hothead standing next to the bed he was laying on. Giving a low growl he made sure as to keep his irritation in check as he spoke. "This is all your fault."

Raphael however was prepared for the accusations since he was well aware of how much his older brother hated to be cared for, nonetheless it still struck some nerves inside of him seeing that he had been ever so kind as to actually carry his sorry bum to the lab.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry for not leaving your sorry ass in the dojo where you could've remained for the rest of the night. Yeah I'm so sorry Leonardo for taking my time to actually care." stated Raphael sarcastically and was not surprised to be met by a pair of still remaining stubborn black orbs fiercely directed at him.

"I did not ask for any unnecessary help, and I especially didn't ask to be lifted up and carried out from the room like some kind of helpless kid!"

It might have been the craving for his brother that had made him notice the faint red-like color on the leader's features when he spoke form his memories; however he was certain that Leonardo did his best as to hide it since he was trying so desperate to keep his angry glare and form intact.

That, of course wasn't going to prevent Raphael from smirking by his brothers unusual blushing face. If there was someone to blame for the gigantic sneer and smirk on Raphaels lips it was Leonardo.  
>He was sucking it in all right, and he'll be damned if he didn't deserve to see his leader so astonished and bashful after the effort he had to go through to get him into the lab. It was clearly a sight that he rarely saw and it was a sight which was practically as sinful.<p>

Taking it easy and slow, Raphael approached the metal like bed which Leonardo occupied; closing in on him and letting his smirk grow wider at the sight of his brother uncomfortably shifting further away and drawing quick breaths.

"You couldn't walk." Raphael stated with a simple shrug, however his stare never left the other ones.

Leonardo shuddered slightly from the tense atmosphere. "That doesn't allow you to do whatever the heck you want..."

"You know me, I never was one to follow orders." Grinning, Raphael felt rather proud that he had made his older brother blush more visibly, however he had yet to learn the desired thoughts about him that still lingered freshly inside Leonardo's head.

"Great, guys I'll gladly listen to your obnoxious love quarrel, but there is a certain generator that needs my attention and I would appreciate it if you two would take the wistful foreplay outside and away from my lab!" Donatello exclaimed while pointed at the gigantic door.

"Foreplay?!" they two eldest shout astonished in unison, earning nothing but a death glare from the second youngest and Raphael was quick to grab ahold of his older brother and storm out of the room.

-

After that Leonardo had spent the rest of his day resting on the couch in a pile of pillows as instructed, and although he had been obedient and stayed put as ordered he still had a hard time actually getting the needed rest as he was constantly circled and disturbed by either Raphael or Michelangelo's rant or casual talking. And while he could use the company, Leonardo still felt that it was better to get the rest over with so that he could go back into training.

Resting had actually made him less tense, and his muscles weren't as sore as before, however he still had a hard time to move without frowning. Stubbornly he reached out for the remote controller that was lying only a bit to his left, wincing when he felt his sore muscles stretch but still sought to claim it to change channel.

Finally he grasped it and held it gently in his hands, musing on whatever to change the channel now or wait for the commercial to end. He decided for the latter and simply let the controller and his arm rest limply against one of the many pillows surrounding him.

"Are you enjoying your day off, my son?" came a rather timid yet simple question from behind and Leonardo restrained himself for turning around to bow for his sensei's arrival which his formal personality demanded him to always do.

Instead he sighed in frustration. "I should be, shouldn't I? But truthfully I am not." he stated honestly and saw his father figure join him on the couch.

"I'm restless, eager to train and honestly speaking plain bored. How can Mikey enjoy just sitting down and doing nothing for hours? It's a mystery for me."

"Leonardo, you of anyone should know how important it is for your body to regain the strength it has lost. A warrior never faces tasks without proper recumbence beforehand."

"Yeah, I guess." He breathed dryly.

They sat in quite peace for a moment as the TV filled the room with a cheerful ambiance. Leonardo inhaled deeply, a soft smile graced his lips upon hearing his cheerful little brother and he sniffed the heavily and delicious aroma that lingered in the air. He figured Michelangelo still was putting something together for their supper.

Further notice had had not seen Raphael for a good while now when he thought of it and he instantly began to worry. Was he asleep? Had he gone topside? Was he hurt? Ambushed perhaps and knocked out? There were all kinds of unfortunate situation that Raphael could've gotten himself into and knowing him he'd probably jump down in eager excitement simply to crack a skull or two, making him an easy target if he were to be ambushed.

A shudder welled up Leonardo's spine as the worry for his brother grew and he clinched his fist sternly, knowing that he weren't in a condition to go out and look for him. What a great brother.

Suddenly a soft and warm hand caressed the back of the blue leaders shell and he turned slightly to see that Splinter was the one comforting him.

"Do not worry too much now when you are supposed to be resting my son. Raphael is okay and only a few blocks away from our home by a quest from Donatello. I recall that he said that one of the surveillance camera were broken." The rat told him and felt relief when Leonardos shoulder seemed to relax a little bit more.

"He shouldn't be out there alone sensei. What if something happens to him or if he gets into trouble?" Leo asked concerned and pierced his stare at the exit of the lair.

His father nodded slightly. "I do know that Raphael has the tendency to somehow act as a magnet that always gets drawn into trouble." He admitted, frowning lightly as he turned to the oldest.  
>"However I do not doubt him. Raphael is strong in more than the physical way, I'm sure he can complete this task Donatello has given him."<p>

"Yes, I know... But still...—" he softly murmured but was unable to finish his sentence.

This however trigged the father figures concern for his oldest son as he got the feeling that there was something else beyond and further of what Leonardo was telling him. He was hiding something.

"Is something troubling you, son?" he asked softly as he circled his sons shell rhythmically with each inhale he took. The tensions shoulder that just for a minute ago had been soothed was now once again firm and stern.

"N-No Master Splinter...It's nothing..." The leader told him somewhat timidly and kept his stare pierced on the floor.

The ninja master gave him a look of concern before deciding to bow down before him, gently placing his hands upon his students shoulder, making him unable to look elsewhere but at him.

"Leonardo, tell me. " he pleaded, now seeing that his sons blue hues usually full of marvel and wonder was instead gleaming with worry and anxiousness.

"It's nothing." He insisted, trying desperately to escape his father's intelligible glare. "You don't need to worry." He added, however quickly regretted ever saying it as he saw his sensei look defiantly at him.

"Of what exactly is it that I don't need to worry about?"

The swords wielder didn't answer.

"Leonardo..."

The dilemma that the blue banded turtle was facing held doubts and worry. Inexpressible unnerving feelings overwhelmed him as he thought of the many things that he should've told his sensei and his brothers. Guilt was also taking root in his conscious and he felt devastated to be remembered that his family trusted him vastly.

But could he really tell them now? The plans, the arrangements nor the preparations that the operation required wasn't fully functional yet. Bringing his family, his only family, in to the mess and center of the war for the two clans was nothing he was tempted to do yet.  
>Nonetheless he was technically only avoiding the inevitable. Sooner or later they were bound to found out, or rather he was bound to tell them. He had begged of his ally to let his family in and now they were surely expecting them to participate in the coming war.<br>If he didn't tell them now they could get hurt ambushed and kidnapped, murdered even if they were that unlucky, and Leonardo rather have his family safe for a while longer than out there on the street above.

"Please my son." Pleaded the ninja master while effectively bringing the terrapin leader out from his trance and thoughts. "Whatever is troubling you, please let me help."

Glancing down on the cemented floor Leonardo inhaled deeply, bracing himself as he broke down the wall he'd built for protection purpose.

"It's—...Sensei I'm afraid it's not the right time yet. I rather not say, but I fear that I don't have much of a choice...I'm not ready yet." he said dryly, waiting impatiently for his father to speak.

"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready." Spoke Splinter earnestly, proceeding only when he saw the oldest rise his head to look at him. "I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There's almost no such thing as ready. There's only now, and you may as well do it at the moment."

"You want me to act like Raph?" He scoffed lightly.

Smiling Splinter added "I mean, I say that confidently as if I'm about to go bungee-jumping or something-I'm not. I'm not a crazed risk taker. Neither are you, but I do think that, generally speaking, now is as good a time as any other."

Leonardo stared at his father figure for a moment, feeling the confident that before was gone now slowly rising.

"I hope you're right, sensei...Thank you." He said, a smile beginning curling up on his lips.

"Don't think too much of it. I'm just a father giving advice to his troubled son." He said, bringing his both arms around the terrapin's neck as he embraced him warmly.

Leonardo contently returned the hug even though his still aching limbs became an obstacle for him to do so. He'd needed this.

"Can I join in too?" perked a small squeaky voice from behind the curtains connected to the kitchen, stating that Michelangelo had surely been eavesdropping since the beginning.

Regardless the leader smiled warmly at his brother and gestured for him to come over, as did his father and soon they both were overwhelmed by the youngest big and warm arms stretching themselves around them.

-

By dinner time Leonardo had gotten his movements and parts of his strength back, so it was not up for discussion wherever he would eat with his family or in his room.

The dinner table this afternoon was decorated with loads of food and salad, and for once there was no pizza in sight or to be spotted. The family members surrounding it also seemed to be slightly surprised by the change of food, but they did not complain when they saw a mountain of mashed potatoes and a mix of fish and carrots neatly placed on a big plate.

"Wow Mike, what's with the fancy food all of a sudden?" Raphael scoffed teasingly before he helped himself for a serving.

Michelangelo's smile couldn't go unnoticed as it only seemed to grow. "I've been practicing! I mean, I'm not best at it yet but I think I'm making a good progress so far." He stated proudly, serving himself after Raphael gave him the big spoon.

"Well it certainly smells delicious. It's not the usual worms and algae odor." Donatello stated, pouring himself a glass of water before taking a bit of the still steaming food, his face gleaming with content and satisfaction as he chewed.

Soon enough the plates were empty from food and the sink were full of dirty dishes and kitchen utensils. The time was now a little past 7am and their sensei had retreated to the dojo while the four siblings simply decided to do whatever they pleased, meaning Donatello hurried towards his lab and Michelangelo up to his room for his comics, Raphael simply seated himself on the couch and enjoyed the TV.

Leonardo figured he'd take care of the pile of dirty dishes instead of joining his brother by the sofa, partly because he'd been glooming at the television for almost a whole day, but also because he still felt unnerved and...Weird around him. He had yet to sort out his thoughts and relevant feelings for them, but Leonardo knew that he'd had to keep his distant from the other if he would be able to do so.

Placing the clean glasses on the cupboard above him he automatically begun humming to Space Hero intro and kept going in that peace until he was almost done.

"Geez Leo, I promise you that show brainwashes you or somethin'. "Came a scoff from across the table and Leonardo visibly flinched from his brothers sudden appearance.

Raphael stood there leaning against the door frame, awaiting an answer or a bicker from the insult he'd just thrown at him. Or rather on Leo's show. Puzzled to why it never came Raphael eyed his brother strangely, feeling almost angered that Leonardo hadn't even turned around to acknowledge his presence.

"You okay bro?" asked Raphael finally.

"Yes, I'm fine." Leo retorted dryly, not bothering turning around since he could practically feel the amused grin on his brothers face.

"Yeah, 'can see that." He stated sarcastically. " 's why you aren't turning around to look at me."

No answer.

This time he chuckled "Oh come on Leo, you can't still be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, Raph." He proclaimed, still not turning around.

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing."

Growling, Raphael took a step forth. "Am I gonna go 20 questions on your sorry ass? Stop being so damn melodramatic and just tell me your problem already!"

"I said it's nothing Raph. I'm just a bit exhausted." He admitted, placing a plate on top of another.

"Yeah, I noticed that before." He sneered, now standing next to his brother. "Before I swept you off from your feet." He added, noticing his brother flinch at the comment.

"Like a princess." He continued taunting, his confident and self-esteem growing once he noticed the faint blush spreading on the others cheeks. Eagerly and yearningly he began tracing his left hand upwards his brothers' arm, trailing it further up and feeling every inch of his leader shudder at the feather like touch.

"Waiting for a prince." He breathed out in merely a whisper, surprised to see that his leader still shuddered even though he'd stopped with his motions around his neck.

The sight before him was unbearable to witness as all of his senses screamed at him to grab Leonardo and kiss him and leave him breathless. The temptation was strong, and seeing the reddish color growing on his face only made it harder to resist the urge to pin him against the floor and wrestle him for dominance, then nipping and tasting the sweaty flesh only to hear him plead and moan his name.

"Leo.." he churred softly as he leaned forth towards the other form, tracing his hand further up his neck and gently grabbing his chin, seeing his brothers pupils enlarging as he turned his head to be able to connect their dry lips together.

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><p>Dat cliffhanger tho. <p>


	9. Chapter 8

**Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.**  
><strong>Pairing; LeonardoRaphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)**  
><strong>Rating; M<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.<strong>  
><strong>Based on the 2k12 series.<strong>  
><strong><br>ENJOY~ **

* * *

><p>He hadn't meant to take it this far, hadn't meant for his desire to overcome him, hadn't meant to push Leo against the wall, hadn't meant to kiss him.<p>

But it was happening, right now in this very moment, his own lips were tightly pressed against Leo's seemingly quivering one, and it was the most wonderful feeling he'd ever felt.

Damn it all if his brother would yell at him after or even look at him with a disgusted stare for the rest of his remaining life, right now that didn't matter to Raph in the slightest. He figured the leader was fragile, weak and easily overpowered from the earlier events, making this his best chance, possibly even the only chance he'll ever get, to successfully plant one tentative peak on his brothers soft lips.

Automatically he leaned closer, yearning for more of the pleasurable and satisfying feeling which only Leo could provide him with.

His hand that had been holding his chin in place was now travelling carefully over hot skin further across collarbone and back towards his throat; letting it caress the noticeable shuddering muscles before he reached the back of his neck, pulling him even closer to himself if that was possible.

Raphael gently soothed his neck, seemingly making the leader whimper from his delicate touch and he gingerly continued to circle the sensitive area further.

From further touches he felt Leo trying to push away, however only being able to withdraw for a short time and only for the needed air before Raphael claimed his lips once again.

The sudden act came as a shock for the sea green turtle and Raphael could feel his knees getting weak as Leo moaned against his mouth.

Desire overcame him then and Raphael let his tongue run over Leo's lips; eagerly pressing against them and asking for wanted entrance.

When his brother didn't grant the access Raphael simply nudged his legs apart, placing his left leg in between them and grind it against his lower abdomen in a slow motion; successfully earning a groan from him which left his lips slightly parted.

Raphael took this opportunity to fiery intrude Leonardo's awaiting mouth, first sliding his tongue against Leo's own, tasting the damp muscle and his mint flavored breath before exploring further to caress his palate.

He tasted _incredibly_ good, and it was almost the same kind of flavor he had imagined that Leo would taste like, however only ten times stronger and more effective as he felt sparks of pleasure being shot through his crotch.

Leonardo then suddenly became weak; the gravity apparently becoming heavier for him as his knees began giving in from the constant added pleasure, leaving only Raph to keep him in place by pressing plastron against plastron.

Then something unbelievable and remarkably happened; There had been a light tug on his shell from his leader.

It was small, barely even noticeable, but he had felt it. Leo had grabbed the side of Raphaels carapace and weakly drawn him towards himself; seemingly deepening the kiss.

Leo had taken his own action; Leo had wanted more. Leo had actually _liked_ it...

The news hit his brain as he tried to progress his brother's small, yet gigantic gesture and act. It was almost too good to be true. Leo liked it and was kissing him back! Leonardo- his honorable and solemn older brother- was really enjoying their kiss!

Raphael couldn't help a churr escape him then, a clear gesture that they all made when aroused. He was more than happy when he heard the vibrating sound arise from the back of Leo's throat shortly after

Only the mere thought of Leonardo having mutual feelings was enough to leave him breathless and craving for more than only the addicting sensation of his delicious lips against his own. He wanted more, to taste every part of him. To touch him even further and draw more of those arousing and sexy moans and let them escape his throat.

He wanted Leo; to claim Leo. He wanted him so badly to the point where it even almost hurt.

"Leo! Raph!"

Then in a flash Leo had broken their long endured kiss with a surprisingly strong forced push against Raphael's plastron, making him lose his balance and fall backwards; his shell hitting the surface in a loud 'thud'.

He groaned slightly from the pain, then drew much needed air as he sat up to confront his leader and ask what his problem was, but he got no further than to only stare at him as the said leader too seemed to be out of breath; his cheeks flushed with a crimson red and eyes glossy with a loud of unreadable emotions reflecting in them.

_'Hot...Cute...'_

"Guys!" screamed Michelangelo from the top of his lungs as he entered the kitchen, appearing to be rushed and stressed.

Raph there concluded that their precious moment was by now totally gone and thrown out of the window. He made a mental note to kill Mikey later.

"You can pummel each other later. Don wants us in his lab, pronto!" he told them and then quickly made his way out of the kitchen again, not even commenting on Leonardo's obvious blushing face. Or maybe he just didn't notice it...

The blue-clad turtle was the first to move after a short moment, not even halting when Raph spoke to him aloud.

"Leo, hold up-" but it was already too late. The leader had already run out of the room, looking awfully hurried and uncomfortable while doing so however.

He thought about running after him, but decided against it and then got up, noticing the erected bulge in his lower area as he leaned against the counter for support.

He cursed softly. "Shit." He obviously needed to take care of that before going to the lab.

He then made way towards the bathroom, being extra cautious and avoiding even going near the lab as the humility to let his brothers see him like this would be haunting him forever and ever.

Upon reaching the bathroom however he found that the door was locked after pulling it, then he heard water running through the pipes above his head and he grunted in irritation.

Wasn't Donnie being restless and needed them all in the lab? Wasn't it really important and serious? Apparently not since one of his two younger brothers or father were in there and occupying the showers.

Then his keen and sensitive ears picked up voices. Voices he could make out to be both Donnie's and Mikey's, even master splinters calm tone, coming from across the lair and, if he had got to guess, from inside the lab.

None of them were inside the shower...And if it were neither of his younger brothers nor his father in there then...

His lips slowly curled into a satisfied grin as it hit him.

It was Leo. It was him inside the showers, and surely he was there for the same reason that Raphael was there; because he sure as hell couldn't be taking a regular shower when Don needed them to be in his lab fast, like yesterday-fast.

Leonardo had become hard and needed to use drastic measures as to shower it away with cold water, and Raphael had been the one to cause it.

Least to say Raphael had never felt more proud of himself than this, ever. He deserved a fucking medal for accomplishing that!

He mused on the idea to pick the lock and then sneak inside to continue where they left off, but he figured that the leader needed some space now after that.

So instead of staying and await his brother to free the showers he simply decided to take care of his 'problem' in his room.

Screw going to the lab, they could fill him in later. Right now Raphael had much to plan and think of concerning his older brother and his seemingly mutual feelings.

Did he regret kissing his older brother and taking his weakened state to use it to his own advantage? No, not at all, considering that Leonardo had _kissed_ him back.

_'Maybe this wasn't a complete waste of time'_ he thought to himself_. 'Maybe this isn't a lost cause after all. Maybe I actually got a shot.'_

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><p>You naughty people. I love you all.<br>Please tell me your opinion on this chapter, 'cause I would be happy to find out what you think about this! It's much appreciated!

Alas, sorry for short chapter, but it seemed fitting to end it there.


End file.
